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Here are a couple of ideas for totally free ISP's that can be used without any advertising bars wasting space on your screen:

http://www.1nol.com

Jr. Skulker Nathan Wong told us about this one.  They have local phone numbers all over the U.S., and some in Central and South America.  When you go to that page, a little window will pop up and that is where you get your account for the free ISP service.  The main window doesn't give a clue.

WebSkulker signed up for an account, downloaded their software, and signed on the official way through their software.  It worked fine and their software didn't force any advertising.  After connecting in once with their software, Dialup Networking had an entry that seemed like it should work to dial in directly, but it didn't and WebSkulker ain't got time for figuring this out today.  If any of you jr. skulkers work out the Dialup Networking parameters to sign onto this service, please let us know.

1nol.com gives you email boxes and a newsgroup server as part of their free offering, so it seems like a great replacement for the bankrupt freewwweb.
 

http://www.nocharge.com

Jr. Skulkers Stuart Russell and Mishqua told us about this one, but it isn't very exciting because it only has dialup numbers in Washington, Oregon, and, of all places, Puerto Rico.  Click on the "Connect" link to sign up.

http://www.twpyhr.com

Jr. Skulker Jenn runs this site called "The Web Page You Have Reached".  It has a good collection of sounds that the phone phreak jr. skulkers out there will appreciate.  Most of the files are telephone, switching, and phone recording noises, but there are also humorous answering machine messages and other humor. 

http://www.netflix.com

http://www.netflix.com/ec_marquee_signup.asp?mqso=43087427

Netflix runs a DVD-rental service with two differences.  If you sign up via the second link, you will get your first month free, so you can borrow a fair number of DVD's at no charge.  The first difference between Netflix and your local Blockbuster is that Netflix has a fixed monthly charge of $19.95 to rent all the DVD's you want, although in practice WebSkulker suspects that you won't get too many -- but it should still be a good deal.  The second difference is that you order your DVD's from the Netflix web site by simply clicking one button for each one you want, and they ship everything to you.  You keep the DVD's as long as you want with no late fees, then return them in post-paid shipping envelopes that they give you.  Just drop them in a mailbox.

Now here's the catch:  you build a list of as many DVD's as you want, but they will only send you 4 at a time.  As you return those, they will send you more from your list (you can set the priority of which ones you want first).  So in theory you could get a lot of DVD's per month if you watch them and return them quickly, but how fast will Netflix send you the next batch?  If they ship you 4 which will take several days, then you hold them for several days, then ship them back which will take several days, then they delay several days for the next batch, then how many will you really get per month?

Thanks to Jr. Skulker Giovanni Navarrete for telling us about this.

http://www.billionairesforbushorgore.com

Jr. Skulker Bob Rowell suggests this site with satire about the presidential campaign:  Billionaires for Bush (or Gore).  The billionaires don't care as long as they can buy each candidate.  Be sure to attend their Million Billionaire Marches outside the conventions, read their platform, see their morphed picture of Bush/Gore, sing their campaign songs, etc.

Submitted by Jr. Skulker El Gobe

A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. Things like 'chalk' or 'pencil,' have a gender association in French, where in English, they are neutral. 

Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked, "What gender is a computer?" The teacher wasn't certain which it was, and so divided the class into two groups and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. One group was comprised of the women in the class, and the other, of men. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation. 

The women concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because: 

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. 

2. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless. 

3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem. 

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.
 

The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because: 

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic. 

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 

3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval. 

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

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