To lie or keep in hiding, as for some evil reason.  To move or go in a mean, stealthy manner.
ISSN: 1527-814X Monday July 3, 2000

WebSkulker Newsletter
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WebSkulker was kidnapped

As many of you loyal jr. skulkers noticed, WebSkulker didn't publish any issues last week, and it's all Jr. Skulker Al Bernay's fault.  Al lives in the Los Angeles area and takes driving trips from time to time ending up in San Francisco where WebSkulker lives, or at least passing through.  Al told us that he and a couple of friends would drive to San Francisco and arrive here on Friday, June 23, and they had to be back in Los Angeles by the next Friday.  It was to be a casual trip and they weren't sure whether they would spend their time sightseeing in the San Francisco area, or maybe take several one or two-day side trips a little farther away.

When they got here, they stayed overnight and decided to continue driving north the next day for a long trip to Northern California and maybe Oregon, and they coerced WebSkulker into going along.  He abandoned poor Ms. Cat and all of his loyal readers and got in the car, expecting to be back by Thursday.  Somehow the trip got more and more ambitious and they decided to go to Portland, Oregon, then they decided to go to Seattle, Washington to see the Vintage Telephone Equipment Museum, then they decided to go to Vancouver, BC, Canada!  The trip got extended so that WebSkulker didn't get home until Saturday, and even with that, there was so much time spent driving that they had no time to actually see or do much in any location they passed through.

Here is everything we all did, other than drive and eat and sleep:  (1) Drive through the Wildlife Safari wild animal park in Winston, Oregon; (2) take a ride on Portland's light rail system over to the famous Powell's Books, which is claimed to be the largest in the world and certainly seems like it; (3) visit the Vintage Telephone Equipment Museum in Seattle; and (4) ride the SkyTrain and a ferry in Vancouver BC and take the tram up to the top of Grouse Mountain.  It's unbelievable, but that is literally all we did in an entire week.  WebSkulker warned the others that this trip was too ambitious and that if we made it to Vancouver we would only spend five minutes there and have to turn around, but would they listen?  No.

Jr. skulkers can learn to program for free

These two sites will hopefully get you jr. skulkers interested in computer programming if you aren't already in that field.  The first link gives you a free copy of the Borland/Inprise C++ compiler and debugger, and the second gives you a free Assembler for writing machine language code for Intel processors.  At one time the Borland C++ compiler was heavily used by companies developing Windows applications, but as with many other fields, Microsoft won the compiler war and most C++ development for Windows is now done with Microsoft products.  Borland has apparently given up and they now let you download their famous compiler for free, with the hope that you will start using it heavily and will then invest in one of their professional development packages.

The second link is to the home page for NASM, the Netwide Assembler, a free machine-code development package for the Intel 80x86 microprocessor series.  Click on the "Where is it" link from their home page to find the download areas.

The skulking gene

With all the talk in the press lately about the complete sequencing of the human genome by Celera Corporation, you jr. skulkers might want to learn more about this field, and you can via a simulated laboratory written in Shockwave animation.  "Use cutting-edge DNA sequencing techniques and powerful database searches to identify an unknown bacterial species! In this simulated lab, you will learn about polymerase chain reaction (PCR), automatic DNA sequencers, and the science of using a database of known DNA sequences to identify an organism."

The BioInteractive site also has virtual labs about cardiology, neurophysiology, and an Elisa assay of antibodies.  For all of these, go to their home page and click on the "Virtual Labs" link.

It's dangerous to drink hot coffee while skulking

This legal satire site is named after the lawsuit in which a woman obtained a multi-million dollar verdict from McDonalds after spilling a cup of hot coffee she had placed between her legs while driving in a car.  Their premiere issue, which you can see at the second link above, satirizes the McDonald's incident.  The first link is their home page which includes their latest issue. 

This made WebSkulker laugh

Submitted by Jr. Skulker Michael Cohen

A young woman brings home her fiancée to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. The father invites the fiancée to his study for a drink. 

"So what are your plans?" the father asks the young man. 

"I am a Bible scholar," he replies. 

"A Bible scholar. Hmm." the father says. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in as she's accustomed to?" 

"I will study," the young man replies, "and God will provide for us." 

"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring such as she deserves?" asks the father. 

"I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replies, "and God will provide for us." 

"And children?" asks the father. "How will you support children?" 

"Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replies the fiancée. 

The conversation proceeds like this, and each time the father questions, the young idealist insists that God will provide. 

Later, the mother asks, "How did it go, honey?" 

The father answers, "He has no job and no plans, but the good news is he thinks I'm God."


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