To lie or keep in hiding, as for some evil reason.  To move or go in a mean, stealthy manner.
ISSN: 1527-814X Wednesday March 29, 2000

WebSkulker Newsletter
Just in time, I skulked you just in time

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WebSkulker gets real

Jr. Skulker Frog2000 asked WebSkulker how he can take songs off a music CD and turn them into RealAudio format that he could stream from his web site.  This seemed like a good topic to discuss in the newsletter because a lot of you jr. skulkers have your own sites and might want to do the same thing.  We are only going to address half of his question: how to turn a .wav file, no matter where it came from, into a RealAudio file and stream that from a web page.  The half-question on how to extract the audio from a CD is answered by any of a number of shareware products that are generically called "CD Rippers" and WebSkulker doesn't have any recommendation for a particular one of them.

Go to the first link above and it will give you a choice of a free program called "Real Producer Basic", or a $149.95 program called "Real Producer Plus".  Web professionals will want to spend the money, but the average jr. skulker will be happy with the free Basic program.  Click on the link for the free one and you will get a form asking for information about yourself, your machine, and your web project.  Click on "Download Now" at the bottom, download, and install the program.

The second link above is a detailed tutorial on using the Real Producer program.  Note that it can not only turn a .wav file into the streaming format, but also video files and it can even handle live broadcasts!

Skulkers, synchronize your watches

Jr. Skulker Goat Boy told us about these two U.S. government sites about time.  The first runs a Java applet that shows the time very accurately, along with a world map showing where the sun is shining right now.  The second and third give details about the U.S. Naval Observatory, the official timekeeper for the U.S.

WebSkulker has used this for years

Speaking of time, WebSkulker suggests that all jr. skulkers visit this site and download the Dimension 4 freeware program.  You leave it running all the time in your system tray.  It watches for you to establish an Internet connection by dialing in to your ISP or any other always-on connection you might have.  It will periodically (you set the interval) contact a time server over the Internet and set the time on your PC.  If you set its options correctly, all of this is completely automatic and you will never see anything or be bothered in any way. But you will notice that the time on your PC is always exact and you never have to change it again. 

It would be fun to skulk these guys

Jr. Skulker Osiris told us about Survival Research Laboratories and suggested the third link above for learning about them.  We skulked around and came up with the first two links that you should check out also.  As Osiris said, "These guys make some pretty hard core gadgets that shoot projectiles and breath fire and they tour around the world and put on shows of utter bedlam. I haven't personally seen them yet but it looks like some pretty good entertainment."

The best pictures we found are on this site about a show they did in Japan.  This is in Japanese, but it doesn't matter:

Be sure to check out the videos in Real and Windows Media formats at the very bottom.

This made WebSkulker laugh

Jr. Skulkers Dan Dunkel and Jo submitted different versions of this joke.  This one is WebSkulkers favorite:

Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for companionship. One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy God Mother. 

Cinderella said "Fairy God Mother, what are you doing here after all these years?" 

The Fairy God Mother replied "Well Cinderella, since you have lived a good, wholesome life since we last met, I have decided to grant you 3 wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?" 

Cinderella is taken aback, overjoyed and after some thoughtful consideration, and almost under her breath she uttered her first wish: "I wish I was wealthy beyond comprehension." 

Instantly, her rocking chair was turned into solid gold. Cinderella was stunned. Alan, her old faithful cat jumped off her lap and scampered to the edge of the porch, quivering with fear. Cinderella said "Oh thank you, Fairy God Mother". 

The Fairy God Mother replied "It is the least I can do. What does your heart wish for your second wish?" 

Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said: "I wish I were young and full of the beauty of youth again" 

At once, her wish having been desired, became reality, and her beautiful youthful visage had returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside her that had been dormant for years and a long forgotten vigor and vitality began to course through her very soul. Then the Fairy God Mother again spoke "You have one more wish, what shall you have?" 

Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says "I wish for you to transform Alan, my old cat into a beautiful and handsome young man." 

Magically, Alan suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up, that when complete he stood before her, a boy, so beautiful the like of which neither she nor the world had ever seen, so fair indeed that birds begun to fall from the sky at his feet. 

The Fairy God Mother again spoke: "Congratulations, Cinderella. Enjoy your new life." And, with a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, she was gone. 

For a few eerie moments, Alan and Cinderella looked into each others eyes.  Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most stunningly perfect boy she had ever seen. Then Alan walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, and held her close in his young muscular arms. He leaned in close to her ear, and breathed as much as whispered, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath: 

"I Bet you regret having me neutered now, don't you?"


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