To lie or keep in hiding, as for some evil reason.  To move or go in a mean, stealthy manner.
ISSN: 1527-814X Thursday March 2, 2000

WebSkulker Newsletter
Yesterday, all my skulking seemed so far away

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Statistics on evil skulkers

Jr. Skulker Stuart Shostak, the same one who will be on the Greed TV show tomorrow night, suggested this site which shows crime statistics by community.  Put in your zip code for the Neighborhood Crime Check, or see statistics for communities around colleges and shopping malls.

WebSkulker's got mail

WebSkulker mentioned this site once before in the 9/29/99 issue.  At that time it provided a free voicemail box, but only in Atlanta, GA.  They now offer a choice: your own personal voicemail/fax number, but still only in Atlanta; or a toll-free voicemail/fax number, 877-271-9800, that you share with others so you and people leaving you a message must enter an extension number first before hearing your box greeting.  Another important new feature provided by notusnow is email reading.  Login to the web page and provide information about your POP3 mailbox.  The next time you call the 877 number the system will read your email with a speech synthesizer.  But there is a problem: it doesn't seem to recognize the order of messages in your box so instead of reading new messages first, it reads them in random order.  WebSkulker sent their tech support a message about that and hopefully they will respond.

When people leave messages in your voicemail extension box, you can retrieve them from the 877 number, from the web site, and optionally as attachments in RealAudio format emailed to you.  The system will provide the phone number of the person who left  the message.  It does this via the ANI mechanism instead of caller ID, so in most cases you will get the number even if they attempt to block their ID.

Politically skulked

This was submitted by Jr. Skulker Michael Cohen who says "In the world of over-simplicity and sound bites, here's a cute Internet site re the upcoming presidential race. The site asks you a series of questions, and then gives you a ranking as to your political category and tells you which candidate's views most closely match yours."

WebSkulker thinks this is patently absurd

This is the home for Pretty Strange Patents, "a tribute to strange, wacky, and unusual patents from around the world".  The first link has the latest entries, and the second has their older archive.  The following are WebSkulker's favorites that are suitable for mentioning in this newsletter.  If you look at all the entries on the two web pages above, you will find even wackier ones.

The site has a links page pointing to other sites with wacky patents:

This made WebSkulker laugh

WebSkulker has two variations on this joke and decided to publish both of them.

Submitted by Jr. Skulker Eric Dubin

The Top 15 Reasons Dogs Don't Use Computers 

15. Can't stick their heads out of Windows 98. 

14. Fetch command not available on all platforms. 

13. Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side. 

12. Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit. 

11. Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail." 

10. Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating. 

9. Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing instead of working. 

8. Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee. 

7. Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome 

6. Cause dogs ain't GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand... 

5. Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software. 

4. SmellU-SmellMe software still in beta test. 

3. Annoyed by lack of newsgroup,'s.leg. 

2. Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms. 

and the Number 1 Reason Dogs Don't Use Computers... 

1> TrO{gO DsA[M,bN HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;AzWqS,. * 
    (* Too Damn Hard To Type With Paws.) 


Submitted by Jr. Skulker Giovanni Navarrete

The Top Ten Reasons Dogs Don't Use Computers

10. T0o0p hqa5rxd 6tt0[o 6ty[p3e 2w9igtjh;pa3wds (Too hard to type with paws) 

9. "Sit" and "stay" were hard enough; "delete" and "save" are out of the question. 

8. Saliva-coated floppy disks refuse to work. 

7. Carpal Paw Syndrome. 

6. Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway he's browsing 

5. Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating. 

4. Can't help attacking the screen when he hears, "you've got mail". 

3. Too messy to mark every Web site he visits. 

2. Fetch command not available on all platforms. 

1. Can't stick his head out of Windows 98. 


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