To use the links in this newsletter, you must be connected to the Internet.  PC Eudora users: to see this and other html mail properly you must check the box "Use Microsoft's Viewer" in the "Viewing Mail" options.

http://www.visitalk.com

WebSkulker doesn't quite know what to make of the Visitalk site, except that if you hurry and register by February 29, they will mail you a free computer headset with microphone.  They make grandiose and nonsensical claims such as "It’s the world’s first service that lets you make voice and video calls from one computer to another."  They don't even have their own software: you use Netmeeting on your PC.  Most of what they take pride in doing can be done with Netmeeting alone without using their service at all.  But they will give you a free headset and Microsoft won't!  Thanks to Jr. Skulker Pymybeast42 for pointing this out.

http://in.winfire.com/s/isapiEng.dll/wf.exe?cmd=rl&507,120016743&wf.exe

WebSkulker registered with www.freedsl.com some time ago and got an email from them today claiming they would start in his area soon.  He is still strongly skeptical about whether this will ever happen, but he will happily take it if it does.  On the offhand chance that this is for real, all of you jr. skulkers should sign up for their waiting list now, because they claim they will install the lines first come, first served.

The deal is that they will give you a DSL line with Internet service completely free in return for you running a program that will take up some screen space with ads showing whenever you are online.  The only charge you might have to pay is $200 for the DSL modem, but you can get that free by referring 10 of your friends.  Before you can refer friends, you must download their ad bar software and install it to see what it looks like, but you don't have to keep it running until you get the DSL line.

If you are interested in free DSL, please use the link above to sign up and also specify "mr.skulker@webskulker.com" as the email address that referred you.  (WebSkulker wants credit for his free modem!).  Then download their software and refer this to 10 of your friends.

http://www.unclaimedbaggage.com

http://www.unclaimedbaggage.com/letsshop/shop.asp

http://www.unclaimedbaggage.com/whatisit/home.asp

The Unclaimed Baggage Center is a real store in Scottsboro, AL, that is kind of like a thrift shop, but the items they sell are from baggage and cargo carried by airlines that for some reason was never claimed.  Some of the cargo items are new.  The baggage ones would be used, but probably functional and fairly modern since someone was likely carrying them for their own use.

The second link above leads directly to the online store where you can see and buy a subset of what is in the real store at the moment.  WebSkulker looked at the items he knows something about and some seemed like bargains, others overpriced.  You should check carefully on the best mail-order price for something before buying it here.

The third link shows an item or items that the store personnel can't figure out.  They don't know what it is so they can't put a price on it, and they are asking the public for help.  Click on the link "See a list of our past winners" for an archive of other items.

http://www.hackfurby.com

Jr. Skulker Goatboy suggest this site which "is designed to be the central location on the Internet for any and all Furby-hacking related stories. Whether you found a new sequence of petting and shakes that makes him do the Chicken Dance or you've discovered that Furby runs on fusion, we'll post it here, for all to read."  The Rebuild section is the best part of the site because it shows step by step and with photos how to disassemble the beast and get to the robotic parts inside.  Navigation hint:  there is a tiny little "Next" button at the bottom right of the first Rebuild page.

http://www.toonkit.com

http://www.toonkit.com/kitsteps.html

Toon Kit lets people like WebSkulker who can't draw come up with cartoon faces of all different types.  The site is a little confusing because it isn't clear at first what you are supposed to do with it.  It turns out that you can use it online, or download a copy that is meant to be installed on a web site that you own.

To use it online, click on the link that says "Use Toonkit Now", then click on the square at the top that switches back and forth between "Click to open on your desktop" and "Toonkit Cartoon Builder".  A window will pop open.  Move your mouse pointer on top of it and wait for the pointer to change from an hourglass to an arrow, then into a hand, then click once and it's ready to go.  Read the instructions at the second link above first, or just play and you'll figure it out.

Submitted by Jr. Skulker NoReality

Top 40 Things You Would Never Hear a Southerner Say
Not Ever.  No matter how much they've had to drink.
No matter how far from the South they've wandered.
Not never.  Not nohow. 

40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen. 
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex. 
38. Duct tape won't fix that. 
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael. 
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken. 
35. We don't keep firearms in this house. 
34. Has anybody seen the sideburn trimmer? 
33. You can't feed that to the dog. 
32. I thought Graceland was tacky. 
31. No kids in the back of the pickup. It's just not safe. 
30. Wrasslin's fake. 
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace? 
28. We're vegetarians. 
27. Do you think my gut is too big? 
26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy. 
25. Honey, we don't need another dog. 
24. Who's Richard Petty? 
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds. 
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor. 
21. Spittin' is such a nasty habit. 
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today. 
19. Trim the fat off that steak. 
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso. 
17. The tires on that truck are too big. 
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad. 
15. I've got it all on the C drive. 
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better. 
13. Would you like your fish poached or broiled? 
12. My fiancée, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's. 
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl. 
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams. 
9. Checkmate. 
8. She's too young to be wearing a bikini. 
7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts? 
6. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen. 
5. I don't have a favorite college team. 
4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side. 
3. I believe you cooked those green beans too long. 
2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla. 
1. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin' tonight. 

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