To use the links in this newsletter, you must be connected to the Internet.  PC Eudora users: to see this and other html mail properly you must check the box "Use Microsoft's Viewer" in the "Viewing Mail" options.

This will be the last week for WebSkulker issues for a while, because WebSkulker will be taking a vacation trip to Hong Kong, Malaysia, and Singapore starting this Sunday.  He won't be back until after Christmas, so he will start using the accumulated Christmas jokes today and for the rest of the week.  Public Internet services in those areas of the world are very slow so it is unlikely that he will publish anything until he gets back.  But watch your mailbox because there might occasionally be a surprise report about his trip.

Since WebSkulker doesn't write the newsletter himself (he only types while his cat dictates) you jr. skulkers might wonder why the cat can't go on publishing in his absence.  It's because she still hasn't learned how to type, and the friend of WebSkulker's who will be taking care of her doesn't understand her language.

 
http://www.gohtm.com

WebSkulker ran across this site in the Internet Tourbus newsletter several months ago and bookmarked it, but didn't think much about it until two people this week asked him a question that could be answered by pointing to this free service.  If you ever need to publish a word processing document on a web site and don't know how to do it, just register with GoHTM, upload the document to them, they will convert it for you, and email the HTML file back to you.  This is completely free, and the results of their conversion will probably be better than anything you can do yourself using tools in your word processor.  They can handle files in the PDF, RTF, DOC, TXT, XLS, and PPT formats.

http://www.payphone-directory.org

The guts of this site is a directory of pay phone numbers and locations that the author visited and other people contributed.  Why?  Who knows, but what is even more amazing is his brag: "I have thousands and thousands of pay phone numbers in the United States and Canada, far more than any other pay phone number website on the internet."  You mean other people have such directories also?

The site also has a lot of pictures of pay phones and rate cards, recordings made from pay phones and other telephone noises, a tutorial about different types of pay phones, and other fun stuff for the jr. skulker interested in phones.

http://www.drummachine.com

http://www.vintagesynth.com

Jr. Skulker Wes Chester submitted the first site which is a virtual museum of the history of electronic drum machines.  The second site is the same idea, but for vintage music synthesizers.  Both sites have photos and downloadable sample sound files for hundreds of historic machines.

http://www.dcn.davis.ca.us/go/dpd/coloring.html

This is an online version of the Davis, California, Police Department's coloring book for kids.  Choose one of these pictures: 911, Crowd, Gun, Helmet, Shoplift, or Tagging.  You will get a black and white cartoon drawing with a set of tools for coloring in all the areas of the picture to your own taste.  Be sure to read the directions at the bottom of the home page.

Now shouldn't they add a picture called "Skulking" explaining why it is bad to skulk?  How are little kids supposed to learn that lesson?  It's not the kind of thing parents would feel comfortable discussing.

Submitted by Jr. Skulker JennyAnn

A Selection of Carols for Your Dysfunctional Friends

SCHIZOPHRENIA:
Do You Hear What I Hear?

MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER:
We Three Queens Disoriented Are

DEMENTIA:
I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas

NARCISSISTIC:
Hark The Herald Angels Sing About Me

MANIC:
Deck The Halls And Walls And House And Lawn And Streets And Stores
And Office And Town And Cars And Busses And Trucks And Trees And Fire
Hydrants And...

PARANOID:
Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Me

PERSONALITY DISORDER:
You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, 
Maybe I'll Tell You Why

DEPRESSION:
Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All is Flat,
All Is Lonely

OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER:
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
...(better start again)

PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PERSONALITY:
On The First Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me
(and then took it all away)

BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER:
Thoughts Of Roasting On An Open Fire

Submitted by Jr. Skulker George Marshall

Santa's Dilemma

A beautiful, and still innocent young lady is finally eighteen years old on Christmas Eve, and decides she wants to meet Santa Claus. So she puts on a robe and stays up late on Christmas Eve. Santa arrives, climbs down the chimney, and begins filling the socks. He is about to leave when the girl, who happens to be a gorgeous redhead, says in a sexy voice, "Oh Santa, please stay. Keep the chill away." 

Santa replies, "HO HO HO, Gotta go, gotta go. Gotta get the presents to the children, you know." 

The girl drops the robe to reveal a sexy bra and panties and says in an even sexier voice, "Oh Santa, don't run a mile; just stay for a while..." 

Santa begins to sweat but replies, "HO HO HO, gotta go, gotta go. Gotta get the presents to the children, you know." 

The girl takes off her bra and says, "Oh Santa... Please... Stay." 

Santa wipes his brow but replies, "HO HO HO, gotta go, gotta go. Gotta get the presents to the children, you know." 

She loses the panties and says, "Oh Santa... Please... Stay...." 

Santa, with sweat pouring off his brow, says, "HEY HEY HEY, Gotta stay, Gotta stay! Can't get up the chimney with my ****** this way!!!" 

WebSkulker is a daily newsletter in html format. To subscribe or unsubscribe, go to our web site at http://www.webskulker.com  or send email to listserv@webskulker.com with precisely the following: "subscribe-webskulker" or "unsubscribe-webskulker" as the only words in the SUBJECT.  Leave off the quotes and be sure to include the hyphen.  Before you even think about unsubscribing, we strongly suggest you go to our web site, click on "unsubscribe", and read the story of the two farmers.  You will be shocked at the consequences!

To change your subscription to a new email address, unsubscribe from the old address and then subscribe to the new address.

This newsletter is copyrighted 1999 by The WebSkulker.  You may use any material in this issue for any reason provided that you attribute it to the WebSkulker Newsletter and include the URL to our web site: http://www.webskulker.com .