To lie or keep in hiding, as for some evil reason.  To move or go in a mean, stealthy manner.

Monday November 15, 1999

WebSkulker Newsletter
The few, the proud, the skulkers!

Free subscription to WebSkulker

Invite friend to subscribe

Read archived issues

WebSkulker's Rules

WebSkulker's forums

WebSkulker FAQ

Visit home page

Submit joke
Submit web site
Submit shareware
Submit other

Email WebSkulker

Email his cat

WebSkulker ICQ #22196753

To use the links in this newsletter, you must be connected to the Internet.  PC Eudora users: to see this and other html mail properly you must check the box "Use Microsoft's Viewer" in the "Viewing Mail" options.

Skulking for cheap long distance

Jr. Skulkers can make free long distance calls during the month of November by dialing (877) 345-6780 and entering pin 70896041.  Then dial 1+-areacode+number+ #.  We heard from a reliable source that this is a beta-test of a new long distance network using voice over IP.  The quality is really bad, so we do believe that this is a legitimate beta test and we didn't just give out a subscriber's password!  We don't know any more information at this point, but we suspect this company will attempt to offer unlimited long distance at a fixed price.

WebSkulker has heard from several people that they are currently trying out such a service.  A long distance company is offering unlimited long distance calls within their state for $25 per month, with rumors that this price will shortly be good for calls to some other states, perhaps the entire U.S.  Subscribers are given a toll-free number to call and a password, so placing calls, even from your home, is like making a calling card call.  We have a friend in the Seattle area who has been trying out unlimited services like this for at least 10-15 years and the result is always the same:  after a while it becomes impossible to make calls because the toll-free number is always busy.  At that point, all the subscribers stop paying, and the company goes out of business.

Think about it:  how would it be possible to make money selling unlimited long distance for $25?  At first glance you might think there is an averaging effect, in that many people make less than $25 of calls per month so the company might make a high profit from them.  But people like that wouldn't subscribe to this service; in fact generally the only people who would bother to use it are those that make far more than $25 in calls per month.  So the business will lose money on most of its subscribers if it actually allowed subscribers to make unlimited calls.  Also consider the fraud aspect:  if you can make unlimited calls using your password, why not share the password with your friends?  There really isn't any reason not to, so the company loses even more money because many people might be making unlimited calls for a total of $25.

The company has only a limited amount of capacity in their network.  They sell too many subscribers, who start getting more and more busy signals, and finally cancel.  So if you are solicited to subscribe to this kind of service, be careful.  It can be a good deal at first, but will probably become unusable in several months.  As long as you can pay just the $25 each month and cancel any time you want, then you won't be burned.  Beware of any long-term commitments or large payments in advance.

Skulkers noisily scratch for food on the ground

Jr. Skulkers Goat Boy and Royal submitted this site and WebSkulker heard about it through several news sources.  The Encyclopedia Britannica now has their entire work and many other reference sources available on the web for free, sponsored by banner ads on every page.  To test this out, we did a search for our favorite word "skulker" and found:,5716,74986+1,00.html
towhee - any of several North American birds of the family Fringillidae (sometimes Emberizidae), order Passeriformes, that are long-tailed skulkers in thickets, where they noisily scratch for food on the ground. 

These are from magazine articles about the Civil War:,5744,9893,00.html
I thank my God that he spared my life, but I had rather change places with some one of my fallen comrades than that even my own conscience should taunt me with being a coward or a skulker, much more than that such should be flung at me by my fellow comrade.,5744,34742,00.html
Because psychiatric beliefs as we know them today did not exist in the 1860s, men who broke down or ran away in combat were called "skulkers" "shirkers," or "deserters" and were more likely to receive a court-martial than sympathy.

Underground skulking

These two sites contain transcripts and pictures from two PBS specials.  The first gives the history of the New York subway system, which WebSkulker likes a lot and always spends time riding when he is in that city.  The second gives the history of the telephone, which of course is most appropriate for jr. skulkers.

Why jr. skulkers' computers crash

These two sites were submitted by Jr. Skulker Jenny Ann.  The first is the typical "dancing something" page, this one about beer with jokes, music, and animations.  The second is a Dr. Seuss story explaining to the very jr. skulkers why computers crash. 

This made WebSkulker laugh

Bread, the Gateway Food

More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.

Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

In the 18th century, when virtually every household baked bread every day, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever and influenza ravaged whole nations.

More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.

Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!

Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.

Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water begged for bread after as little as two days.

Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items as butter, jelly, peanut butter and even cold cuts.

Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread pudding person.

Newborn babies can choke on bread.

Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.

Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions:

No sale of bread to minors 

A nationwide "Just Say No to Toast" campaign, complete with celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.

A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.

No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.

The establishment of "bread-free" zones around schools.


WebSkulker is a daily newsletter in html format. To subscribe or unsubscribe, go to our web site at  or send email to with precisely the following: "subscribe-webskulker" or "unsubscribe-webskulker" as the only words in the SUBJECT.  Leave off the quotes and be sure to include the hyphen.  Before you even think about unsubscribing, we strongly suggest you go to our web site, click on "unsubscribe", and read the story of the two farmers.  You will be shocked at the consequences!

To change your subscription to a new email address, unsubscribe from the old address and then subscribe to the new address.

This newsletter is copyrighted 1999 by The WebSkulker.  You may use any material in this issue for any reason provided that you attribute it to the WebSkulker Newsletter and include the URL to our web site: .