skulk:
To lie or keep in hiding, as for some evil reason.  To move or go in a mean, stealthy manner.

Wednesday November 10, 1999

WebSkulker Newsletter
My parents went skulking around the web,
and I all got was this damn newsletter
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To use the links in this newsletter, you must be connected to the Internet.  PC Eudora users: to see this and other html mail properly you must check the box "Use Microsoft's Viewer" in the "Viewing Mail" options.

WebSkulker's cat isn't the only one with email



Jr. skulkers are always amazed to learn that WebSkulker's cat is the one who actually writes this newsletter (see the FAQ and Rules on our web page)  and that she has her own email address: ms.cat@webskulker.com.  Several have written to her and she always responds.  Jr. Skulker Tracy Airhead points out another cat with an email address: George the Cat from furniture.com.  Read all about him on his own web site at:
http://4.17.177.235

Be sure to watch George's appearance on the Late Show with Dave Litterman:
http://4.17.177.235/TalkShow.htm

Yet more skulking with robots and remote controls



http://www.robotstore.com

This seems to be robot and remote control week on WebSkulker, so here are more links for jr. skulkers interested in these subjects.  The first is to Mondo-tronics' Robot Store Web Catalog which "features over 400 robot kits, books, and software, as well as Muscle Wires, shape memory alloys, and lots of other great robot related hardware, electronics, video tapes and more!"  Possibly the best way to get started with home robot construction would be the Lego Mindstorms kits and add-ons which you can see at:
http://www.robotstore.com/lego_mindstorms.html  and:
http://www.legomindstorms.com

Did you know that Lego runs three theme parks called Legolands which have entire buildings built out of lego blocks?  The original is in Brussels with newer ones in London and San Diego.  See virtual tours of all three at:
http://www.lego.com/legofinder/legoland.asp 

 

http://www.smarthome.com

SmartHome sells the X10 system of remote control devices that we discussed in the 11/8/99 issue and much more.  If X10 will do what you want, go to the X10 web site because you will get the best prices.  The SmartHome site is great for all the X10 add-ons made by other companies and all kinds of other gadgets, most dealing with home automation.

Skulkers need to keep up with their area codes



http://www.nanpa.com

http://areacode-info.com

http://www.lincmad.com

WebSkulker is old enough that it still bothers him to see an area code with something other than a 1 or 0 in the middle digit.  Telephone switching machines in big cities used to tell the difference between an area code and a prefix by looking at the middle digit: 1 or 0 meant area code, anything else, prefix.   There used to be few enough area codes that a jr. skulker could easily memorize the whole country.  Forget that era, now you have to carry around a pocket organizer just to keep track of the area code splits!  In California.  For the whole country, you need a mainframe.

These three sites discuss the area code system, officially known as the North American Numbering Plan.  The first is run by Lockheed Martin IMS, the current administrator of the plan.  An interesting page here is the NPA Inventory which shows all possible area code (Numbering Plan Area) numbers.  If in use, the region is shown.  If not yet in use, the table shows the plan for how that number might be used in the future:
http://www.nanpa.com/number_resource_info/npastat.html
The abbreviations used in that table and a lot of other information are here:
http://www.nanpa.com/number_resource_info/area_codes.html

This page has downloadable .zip files showing which long distance carrier has each 950-type access number and each 101xxxx carrier code:
http://www.nanpa.net/number_resource_info/carrier_id_codes.html 

The second site (submitted by Jr. Skulker Batteryman who suggested this whole topic) and the third are privately run and contain a huge amount of news and other information about area codes and forthcoming splits.

WebSkulker was gullible



http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Ithaca/4637/kissyou.html

It turns out that the two web pages in yesterday's issue about the Turkish guy named Mahir are a hoax.  But there is a real Mahir and he really did write a web page to "invitate" women to stay at his house in Turkey.  People ran across his page and made parodies of it using his information, pictures, and misspellings.  For yet another great parody, see the above site, and be sure to scroll all the way to the bottom for a bunch of links telling the true story of Mahir mania.

WebSkulker is thinking about making a web page for his cat so she can invitate males from all over the world to stay at her cat house....  no, wait, that doesn't sound right.

This made WebSkulker laugh



Submitted by Jr. Skulker Stuart Shostak

There was an old married couple that had happily lived together for nearly forty years. The only friction in their marriage was caused by the husband's habit of breaking wind nearly every morning as he awoke. The noise would always wake up his wife and the smell would cause her eyes to water as she would choke and gasp for air. Nearly every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping one in the morning. He told her that he couldn't help it. She begged him to see a doctor to see if anything could be done but the husband wouldn't hear of it. He told her that it was just a natural bodily function and then he would laugh in her face as she tried to wave the fumes away with her hands. She told him that there was nothing natural about it and if he didn't stop, he was one day going to "fart his guts out".

The years went by and the wife continued to suffer and the husband continued to ignore her warnings about "farting his guts out" until one Christmas morning. Before dawn, the wife went downstairs to prepare the family feast. She fixed Christmas pudding, mashed potatoes, gravy and of course a turkey. While she was taking out the turkey's innards, a thought occurred to the wife as to how she might solve her husband's problem. With a devilish grin on her face, she placed the turkey guts into a bowl and quietly walked upstairs hours before her flatulent husband would awake.

While he was still soundly asleep, she pulled back the covers and then gently pulled back her husband's jockey shorts. She then placed all of the turkey guts into her husband's underwear, pulled them up, replaced the covers and tiptoed back downstairs to finish preparing the family meal. Several hours later she heard her husband awake with his normal loud ass trumpeting. This was soon followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as her husband ran to the upstairs bathroom.

The wife could not control herself and her eyes began to tear up as she rolled on the floor laughing. After years of putting up with him she had finally gotten even. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror in his eyes. She bit her lip to keep from laughing and she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right -- all those years you warned me and I didn't listen to you."

"What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that I would end up farting my guts out one of these days and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God and with my own two fingers, I think I got 'em all back in."

 

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