To lie or keep in hiding, as for some evil reason.  To move or go in a mean, stealthy manner.
ISSN: 1527-814X Tuesday June 6, 2000

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A free U.S. number for overseas jr. skulkers

WebSkulker has mentioned several free services that let you make telephone calls from your PC to telephone numbers in the U.S. and a couple of other countries.  Fon2Web is the reverse of this:  they give you a unique telephone number in area code 206 and a program that you leave running on your PC.  When someone calls that phone number, the program will be contacted and it will make ringing sounds through your PC.  You click a button to answer, and then talk to the caller through your PC microphone and speakers.  The quality is just like any other Internet phone service: nowhere near as good as a real phone call, but tolerable if you need to save money.

The advertising for Fon2Web suggests that people overseas can use the service to give their friends a U.S. number to call them on, which would be a lot cheaper than calling them directly overseas.  They also suggest forwarding your regular phone number to theirs, and then you can receive live phone calls while you are traveling and signed on to the Internet.

The Fon2Web service is currently in beta test and might be buggy.  For example your number is supposed to act like a voicemail and take a message if your PC software isn't running and connected to the Internet, but WebSkulker's number gives a reorder signal (fast busy signal) in that situation.

More places to skulk for files

Jr. Skulker Federico Mazzonelli suggested the first site, the Virtual Network Neighborhood, as similar to Napster, Gnutella, and iMesh services that WebSkulker has mentioned before.  You might want to check it out as an alternative for sharing files.

WebSkulker ran across the second site that is a similar service, deliberately written to be anonymous and impossible to shut down by court order.

Use this if skulkers are stealing your works

Media Enforcer is a freeware program that is the opposite of the anonymous services above.  It is intended for people who own copyrighted works that are being shared illegally on Napster, etc.  Run the program, tell it what types of files to look for, and it will give you details about the Napster and Gnutella users who have such files available for sharing.  Then you sue them.

Still no haikus about skulkers

Our 5/22/00 issue mentioned that WebSkulker has never seen any haiku poems about skulkers.  He still hasn't, but Jr. Skulker 01csn888884 (seriously, that's the name he gave us) submitted a couple of them about spam:

Attach electrodes
To the SPAM, jolt it, shock it ---
Still it will not oink.

Practice SPAM voodoo.
Insert pins into pink block.
Somewhere, a pig screams.

These sounded familiar because WebSkulker once bought a book about SPAM Haiku.  He asked Ms. Cat to skulk around and she found the above site which promotes the book, and has an archive of haikus and limericks about SPAM the "food", not the junk email.

This made WebSkulker laugh

Submitted by Jr. Skulker Marvelena Quesada

A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, "May I help you?" The farmer said, "Yea, I want to get one of those day-vorces." 

The attorney said, "Well do you have any grounds?" 

The farmer said, "Yea, I got about 140 acres." 

The attorney said, "No, you don't understand, do you have a case?" 

The farmer said, "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere." 

The attorney said, "No you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge?" 

The farmer said, "Yea I got a grudge, that's where I park my John Deere." 

The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?" 

The farmer said, "Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on Sundays." 

The exasperated attorney said, "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?" 

The farmer said, "No sir, we both get up about 4:30." 

Finally, the attorney says, "Okay, let me put it this way. WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?" 

And the farmer says, "Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her!"


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