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Jr. Skulker P.M.S. asked if WebSkulker knew of any way to read email by telephone while away on a skulking trip and away from Internet connections.  One approach is to use the phone service of http://www.inetnow.com mentioned in our 4/7/00 issue.  The Inetnow live operators will read email to you for free, as well as look up any other web page information.

If you would prefer the privacy of a machine to read your email, try these:

http://www.mailandnews.com
This one is the best for reading email from a POP3 account that you already have, because it goes directly to your POP3 server when you dial in, and therefore gets the latest email.  The services below give you web-based email boxes of their own and allow you to merge your POP3 email into those, but this isn't as convenient.  MailandNews might not be offering this service to new users because WebSkulker's old account still works when he dials their 800 number, but the "Voice" button that you are supposed to use to enable phone access to your account brings up a page that says "Function not supported."  Maybe they are having problems today and this will work later.

http://www.planetarymotion.com  will read email over a toll free number; free for the first 60 minutes per month, 10 cents per minute thereafter.  They have an advanced option for $2.95 per month that you might want.  Their synchronization and reverse synchronization features work pretty well for reading other POP3 email boxes.  They are the only service WebSkulker knows about that can read AOL email as well as POP3.

http://www.collegeclub.com  has a free email reading service, but with very tight limits for free, and $9.95 per month for more.  See:
http://www.collegeclub.com/premium_new/brochure


http://www.shoutmail.com
They have a toll-free number, but you can only use it for a 30 minutes and then they want you to use local numbers that they have all over the U.S.

http://www.cam-orl.co.uk/ab.html

WebSkulker remembers seeing ads about 15 years ago for a product called something like "Trackatron Pen" that was probably vaporware because the ads disappeared after a while and he never heard of this product from any source other than these ads.  The Trackatron Pen was a radio transmitter that looked like a pen that you would clip into your shirt pocket while at work.  Each room and hallway of the building would have a receiver that would sense the unique codes being transmitted by the pens, so the system would always know where you were.  The ads showed several legitimate uses for this product, such as looking at a computer screen to find where someone was if you needed to talk to them, automatic unlocking of doors that this employee was authorized to pass through, and an interface with the telephone system so that if someone dialed a person's extension, the phone system would automatically forward the call to the office where they were visiting right now.

WebSkulker was reminded of this when he ran across the above page about a wearable badge system that does the same thing.  This item isn't anything the average jr. skulker can use, but is mentioned to alert you to technology that might someday be available to all companies.

http://www.esnipe.com

"Esnipe is an online automated bidding system for eBay auctions. Instead of placing your bids directly with eBay, you place them through esnipe. Our site stores the information you submit until a few seconds before the end of the auction you are interested in. At that point, esnipe places a bid with eBay on your behalf. This final bidding process works exactly the same way as if you placed the bid manually, so all eBay bidding rules apply - including proxy bidding.

The end result is your bids being placed with eBay at the last possible moment - this is called 'sniping', and we are confident that we can do this better than anyone else."

http://www.weeklyworldnews.com

The Weekly World News (WWN) has always been WebSkulker's favorite checkout stand tabloid because they make no pretense of the truth; their stories are obviously fiction and are always weird and funny.  WebSkulker likes it so much that he even subscribed for a year.  During that time, he was running a mail order business and Jr. Skulker John Cunningham worked for him.  An issue of WWN arrived in the mail that had a big picture of some psychic, with a headline and story claiming that touching the picture of the psychic every morning would bring good luck.  We tried it and sure enough, every day that we touched the picture, we sold a lot of products.  The picture got dirty and grungy after a while and we threw it away.  Strangely enough we still sold a lot of products every day.

Check out the WWN web site for all these great articles and pictures online.  This one got Ms. Cat scared because she isn't sure it is fiction:
http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/archive/stories/1453.html

She was much happier with this warm, inspirational, story:
http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/archive/stories/1306.html

She asks that all jr. skulkers read the Warning signs of a possessed pet, and What to do if your pet is possessed at the bottom of this article:
http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/archive/stories/1866.html

Ecology extremists should be sure to read this one about the real reason species became extinct.  It has nothing to do with the environment:
http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/archive/stories/1032.html

Bob was driving home after spending a great day on the lake fishing. His catch, cleaned and filleted, was wrapped in newspaper on the passenger side floor. He was late getting home, so he was speeding just a little bit. As he was crossing a bridge, a cop jumped out, radar gun in hand, and motioned Bob to the side of the bridge. Bob pulled over like a good citizen. 

The cop walked up to Bob's car and said "You know how fast you were goin', boy?" 

Bob thought for a second and said "Uh, 60?" 

"67 MPH, BOY!! 67 MPH in a 55 zone!!!" said the cop. 

"If you already knew, why'd you ask me?", Bob snarled back. 

Fuming over Bob's answer, the officer growled, "That's speeding, and you're getting a ticket and a fine!" The cop took a good close look at Bob in his stained fishing attire, and said, "You don't even look like you have a job!! Why, I've never seen anyone so scruffy in my entire life!" 

Bob answered, "Hey, I've got a job . . . a good job!" 

The cop leaned in the window, sniffing the foul air, and said, "What kind of a job would a smelly bum like you have?" 

"I'm a rectum stretcher!" Bob replied. 

"What the hell does a rectum stretcher do, Boy?" asked the cop. 

Bob explained, "When someone needs to be stretched, I'm the one who does it. I start with a couple of fingers, then a couple more, and then one hand, then both hands. Then I slowly pull them farther and farther apart until the rectum is a full six feet across." 

The cop, absorbed with this bizarre image, asked, "What the hell do you do with a six foot asshole?" 

Bob replied, "I guess you give it a radar gun and stick it on the end of a bridge!"

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