skulk:
To lie or keep in hiding, as for some evil reason.  To move or go in a mean, stealthy manner.
ISSN: 1527-814X Monday May 22, 2000

WebSkulker Newsletter
Let's skulk again, like we did last summer

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WebSkulker was here


http://www.nsa.gov/museum

WebSkulker just returned from a two week trip to New York, Philadelphia, and Washington DC.  On his drive from Washington back to New York, he spent some time at the National Cryptologic Museum which is right next to the National Security Agency (NSA).  The web site shows only a tiny fraction of the exhibits on display, so any jr. skulker interested in history, mechanical machinery, cryptography, or the history of computers should try to spend some time there.  Most exhibits are behind glass as you would expect,  but they have one Enigma machine out in the open that visitors are allowed to play with.

This museum has the obligatory souvenir shop with tee shirts, mugs, watches, briefcases, wallets, etc. containing the official seal of the NSA.  These souvenirs didn't mention the museum at all and some didn't really look like souvenirs; the impression was that the person carrying/wearing them was an NSA employee or somehow associated with the agency.  WebSkulker thought this was odd and asked the sales clerk about it.  She said there is no confusion because "real NSA employees wouldn't be caught dead wearing any of this stuff!"

Tell me where to skulk today


1-800-555-TELL

http://www.tellme.com

http://preview.tellme.com/preview/keywords/reference.gsp

Tellme is a free service that you access by phone, after reading the instructions and signing up on their web site.  The seven digit phone number that you enter into the registration form is your password for the phone service.  When you dial in from that very phone number, their system will recognize you via the ANI mechanism (similar to caller-ID).  When you dial in from any other number, Tellme will prompt you for your registration phone number, then it seems to remember what you entered so it will automatically log you in if you ever call back from the same phone.

Tellme uses speech input and output to give you information of the sort that you would normally find on the web, but the point is that you can use Tellme when you are away from your computer.  The current categories are:  Restaurants, Movies, Stock Quotes, Airlines, News, Sports, Traffic, Weather, Horoscopes, and Soap Opera updates.  You can also play a game of blackjack against a wise-ass dealer, and make free two-minute phone calls to any number in the U.S. by using the Phonebooth service.  The second link above gives the complete list of phrases that you can speak.

For services in a local area, such as weather and movie listings, Tellme automatically determines where you are by the area code and prefix of the phone you used to dial into it.  If you want information for a different location, you can specify a city and state.

Microscopic skulking


http://micro.magnet.fsu.edu

"Welcome to the Molecular Expressions Website featuring our acclaimed photo galleries that explore the fascinating world of optical microscopy. We are going where no microscope has gone before by offering one of the Web's largest collections of color photographs taken through an optical microscope (commonly referred to as "photo-micro-graphs"). Visit our Photo Gallery for an introductory selection of images covering just about everything from beer and ice cream to integrated circuits and ceramic superconductors."  There is a lot more to this site than photo galleries; it also contains a large amount of educational material about the processes used to take this type of photograph including many Java simulations you can experiment with.

Jr. Skulker Tom McWilliams told us about this because of the section which features oddities found while studying integrated circuits under the microscope.  It turns out that chip designers have a sense of humor, and often show off their artistic talents by fabricating microscopic cartoons, pictures, and text in unused portions of the chip's surface:
http://micro.magnet.fsu.edu/creatures

Tom loves Macintosh computers so his favorite photo was this one showing a 300-micron long sword hidden in the Power PC 750 chip:
http://micro.magnet.fsu.edu/creatures/pages/g3sword.html

Ms. Cat was disappointed because there were no pictures of cats on any of the chips.  The closest thing she could find was this:
http://micro.magnet.fsu.edu/creatures/pages/bulldozer.html

How come no one writes skulker haikus?


http://orgy.aaronland.net/spam/texts/cat_haikus.html

Jr. Skulker John submitted this page of haiku poems that reveal the true nature of cats.

This made WebSkulker laugh


Submitted by Jr. Skulker Marvelena Quesada

Vocabulary Test for the Dirty Minded
I challenge you NOT to think dirty. None of the answers in this quiz are obscene in any way. 

1) What is a four-letter word that ends in "k" and means the same as intercourse?

2) What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only two of?

3) What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long, has a head on it, and that women love so much that they often blow it?

4) What word starts with "f " and ends with "u-c-k"?

5) Name five words that are each four letters long, end in " u-n-t " one of which is a word for a woman?

6) What does a dog do that you can step into?

7) What four letter word begins with "f " and ends with " k", and if you can't get one you can use your hands?

8) What is hard, six inches long, has two nuts, and can make a girl fat?

9) What four-letter word ends in "i-t " and is found on the bottom of birdcages?

10) What is it that all men have one of; it's longer on some men than on others; the pope doesn't use his; and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?

 
ANSWERS: 

1. (talk) 
2. (legs) 
3. (a twenty dollar bill) 
4. (firetruck) 
5. (bunt, hunt, runt, punt, aunt) 
6. (pants) 
7. (fork) 
8. (Almond Joy candy bar) 
9. (grit) 
10. (last name)

 

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