To lie or keep in hiding, as for some evil reason.  To move or go in a mean, stealthy manner.
ISSN: 1527-814X Friday April 14, 2000

WebSkulker Newsletter
Why don't you come up and skulk me sometime

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Skulking through past issues

Yesterday's issue mentioned as a place to get great wallpaper pictures and screen savers.  A couple of jr. skulkers responded:

Chris said: "Wildlife? Natural places? Exotic/historical places? F**k that! Get the swimsuit models, they make an AWESOME screensaver. Now that's a work of art."

TapakaH said: "I have an ultimate wallpaper for you guys. I made it myself several years ago and have it installed on all my machines since then. Nothing complicated, no nude babes, but there probably is no another wallpaper that is so unobtrusive as this one." Check out:

WebSkulker thought that TapakaH was being quite egotistical, but he installed the free wallpaper and actually does like it.  Be sure to set the background properties to Tile this picture because it is much smaller than your screen size.  Ms. Cat took one look at the new wallpaper and immediately started scratching at the screen and then took a dump on it.  Strange.

We mentioned Jr. Skulker Alexander Militsin in our 2/29/00 issue for his shareware game Scarlet Grains.  He wrote to tell us that he has a new game on his web site: Renix.  You can read a description and download it from the above link. 

First year of skulking for free

This site is giving away Internet appliances to the first 10,000 people who apply and are approved.  The device is a computer with wireless keyboard, a 10 inch color LCD screen, and 56Kb modem, but the programming is locked in as an Internet terminal with email and web browsing so you can't use it for anything else.  The machine and unlimited Internet usage is free for the first year, $50 for the second and third years, and then free thereafter.

There are two catches:  there will always be advertising showing so you only get part of the screen for your web browsing, and you are agreeing to use the machine at least 10 hours per month (because they hope you will respond to the ads).  If you don't use it enough, they can cancel your account and ask for the machine back.

Jr. Skulkers who are used to PC's and Mac's probably won't like this, but it might make a nice second machine for browsing from a different room.  This might be a great machine for people who have been buying WebTV:  Older people who want to check out the web, but don't want to learn how to use a computer.

Communicate with your fellow jr. skulkers

Jr. Skulker Tad Hoffman suggested that we tell you about Firetalk, a free program that lets you make "free worldwide calls, unlimited conference calling, voice and text chat at any website, group web browsing with voice, instant messaging and voice mail. Make unlimited local, long-distance and international person-to-person and group calls. Hold a live, voice conference call with as many as 100 people. Surf to any website and automatically talk to other Firetalk users who are also there. Free and powerful, Firetalk does it all."

Note that all of these "calls" are PC-to-PC over the Internet, not real telephone calls.

WebSkulker thinks this is weird

Jr. Skulker Mike Hutton told us about this site that WebSkulker had run across before, but never published.  There is no way to describe it, just go to it and play around.

These made WebSkulker laugh

Submitted by Jr. Skulker Sid Bernay

A group of nuns were traveling in a car when it had a flat tire. They got out and tried to change it, but being rather unworldly, they didn't really know how. Luckily, a truck came along and the driver offered to change it for them. They gratefully accepted. 

As the trucker jacked up the car, it slipped from the jack and he yelled, "Son-of-a-bitch!" 

The eldest nun said to him, "That is not nice language. We understand that you are upset, but you mustn't use such language." 

"Sorry, Sister," he said, and tried again. Again it slipped, this time almost smashing his fingers. "Son-of- a-bitch," he yelled again. 

"Please, don't use such language. If changing our tire is causing you to do so, it would be better if you didn't help us." 

"But I get so upset, and it just comes out." 

"Well," said the nun, "say something else when you get upset, something like 'Sweet Jesus, help me.'" 

So the trucker tried to jack up the car again. And again it slipped. He started to say "Son.." but he corrected himself and said, "Sweet Jesus, help me." At that, the car miraculously rose into the air all by itself. 

The nuns looked at the car in wonder, exclaiming, "Son-of-a-bitch!"


Submitted by Jr. Skulker Angie

A five year old and a four year old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the five year old, "I think it's about time we start swearing." The four year old nods his head in approval. 

"When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna say 'hell' and you say 'ass' OK?" "OK," the four year old agrees with enthusiasm. 

The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the five year old what he wants for breakfast. "Aw hell Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios." WHACK! He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up and ran upstairs crying his eyes out. 

She looked at the four year old and asked with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?" "I don't know," he blubbers, "But you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios."


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