To lie or keep in hiding, as for some evil reason.  To move or go in a mean, stealthy manner.
ISSN: 1527-814X Monday April 3, 2000

WebSkulker Newsletter
Michael skulked along the shore, Hallelujah

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Skulking through past issues


Call this number and listen for a few seconds until the end of the outgoing greeting.  You can use it as another ANI number for you jr. skulkers who need a way to identify the phone number you are currently calling from.  In our 3/14/00 issue, WebSkulker mentioned that he created his own ANI number by calling a spammer's 800 number over and over again.  After a while, it started playing a threatening message, including speaking our phone number to scare us into not calling it again.  The above number is even better: it's another voice mail of a spammer, but this one speaks your phone number every time, right before the beep tone, to scare you into not calling it too often.  WebSkulker suggests that every one of you call the number to hear your ANI, and leave a message thanking them for this service.  You might also call from a payphone to hear it's ANI, although that would be a shame because it would cost the spammer the payphone surcharge each time you call.

Here are a couple of more great ads to watch in streaming QuickTime format.  WebSkulker should have published the first one last Friday because it relates to April Fool's Day.  The second one is by someone who has precisely the same attitude about iMac's that WebSkulker and his cat have.

WebSkulker has mentioned this site a couple of times because of their claim to provide free DSL service in some cities in return for your running a "view bar" that will take over part of your screen to show ads, and the right to track your web skulking habits.  WebSkulker has a strong memory that FreeDSL used to claim that their free lines would be high-speed lines that would be typical of the paid DSL lines in an area.  They recently sent email and posted on their web site a fundamental change: their free DSL service will only be at a speed of 144 Kbps, which is barely faster than an ISDN line and far, far slower than any commercial DSL line (assuming you are close enough to your central office).  But there will be an upgrade available to higher speeds if you want to pay for it!

On this page:
they claim that "FreeDSL provides high-speed access to the Internet at connection speeds up to 50 times faster than dial-up. With DSL people will receive and send text, images, audio, and video over the Internet at speeds up to 8 Mbps, with virtually no delays. Current dial-up connections are limited to 56 Kbps."

WebSkulker finds it amazing that a DSL line of 144 Kbps, which is mathematically less than three times faster than 56 Kbps, will access the Internet at up to 50 times faster than dialup.  WebSkulker suspects that this wording is left over from when they used to claim that their DSL lines would be full speed.

CD ripping and skulking

WebSkulker isn't all that much into MP3's so he hasn't tried many CD ripping or MP3 utilities, but he knows that most of you jr. skulkers like this sort of thing so he will pass along three sites.  The first was suggested by Jr. Skulker Chris Gray, the second by Tim Brewer, and the third was in a press release that we received.

Exact Audio Copy has an amazing set of features. Besides it's high quality at ripping audio from CD's, it also contains a sound editor with automatic removal of clicks and pops and other noise reductions, and lookups into the CDDB database.  The documentation is sparse, so a fan set up a site with more detailed instructions:

All the phone news that's fit to skulk

Jr. Skulker 785sicc recommended this site.  "A general telephone news site. it has A LOT of news. LOTS and LOTS of news. Stuff that doesn't even matter. LOTS of it."

This made a believer of WebSkulker

WebSkulker has been an atheist since he was old enough to think about such things, but as of tonight, he believes and it took a web site to do it!  The power of Jesus is clear and undeniable: go there and type in the URL of any other page, such as, and see what He can do.

This made WebSkulker laugh

Submitted by Jr. Skulker Marvelena Quesada

English Language

Let's face it -- English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant not ham in hamburger; neither apple or pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. 

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradox's, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? 

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single anal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? 

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue? 

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? 

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? 

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? 

Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly? 

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on. 

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.


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