To use the links in this newsletter, you must be connected to the Internet.  PC Eudora users: to see this and other html mail properly you must check the box "Use Microsoft's Viewer" in the "Viewing Mail" options.

http://www.netpliance.com/iopener

http://www.linux-hacker.net/iopener

http://www.hardwarecentral.com/hardwarecentral/tutorials/1612/1

http://indigo.ie/~bryan/auto.htm

"Auto Start Manager extends the functionality of the Windows StartUp folder by giving the ability to conditionally start programs at startup time. The program allows time and configuration dependent conditions to be tested before deciding which programs to start. Tests are provided for day of week, time of day, time elapsed since last run, logon user, start configuration, power mode (if APM installed), and network connection. 

Of particular interest to notebook users is the ability to control the programs started based on the configuration (e.g. docked/undocked) and power settings (mains/battery)."

Download and install this shareware program and it will place itself in your Startup group, but will not touch anything else.  For programs already in your Startup group that you want to run every boot, do nothing.  Just leave them in the Startup group.  For programs that need delays or conditional running, remove them from the Startup group and define them to Auto Start Manager, and it will start them if and when the conditions are appropriate.

http://www.songfile.com

Jr. skulkers who have been subscribing for a while have surely noticed the headline and email subject of each issue.  If you are older, you will probably recognize most of these as parodies on old songs, proverbs, movie titles, etc. where the word "skulk", "skulker", or "skulking" is cleverly (we think) inserted.  This is the one part of the newsletter that WebSkulker writes himself, because Ms. Cat doesn't know anything about old human songs and sayings.  WebSkulker often has an idea for a headline, but doesn't remember the lyrics exactly, so he does web searches hoping to find them.  Jr. Skulker Lynngent suggested this site that might help, because it is a place to get lyrics for thousands of popular songs.  WebSkulker was disappointed by how few lyrics it actually has, at least for the albums he looked up, but they promise they will be adding more.  The lyrics are presented in an annoying way to make it harder for you to print them or copy them to anything else.  When you choose a song, the site will download an applet that displays part of the lyrics.  Wait a while and it will switch to the next section, etc.  You will not be able to copy any part of this to the clipboard using normal Windows facilities.

The site also has a good database of published CD's and a lot of other music information.  One interesting section is called "Licensing" which is appropriate because this site appears to be run by the Harry Fox Agency, which is one of the three international agencies that handle the licensing of most songs.  Go to the Licensing link for a brief description of what you need to do to license a song in various situations from Harry Fox Agency, and also check out the links to the other two biggies in this field, ASCAP and BMI.

http://www.toiletmuseum.com

http://www.toiletmuseum.com/sounds.html

http://www.toiletmuseum.com/animal.html

The Toilet Museum isn't really a museum of toilets, but rather a museum of pictures and greeting cards about toilets.  The author and his roommate started collecting these pictures to hang in their bathroom, and that became know as the Toilet Museum.  Here is the virtual version, complete with sounds, web post cards, and a gift shop.  The last link is of course Ms. Cat's favorite.

Submitted by Jr. Skulker Belinda Navarrete

Microsoft vs. GM 

At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five-dollar cars that get 1000 miles to the gallon." 

Recently General Motors addressed this comment by responding, "Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?" 

And . . . 

1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car. 

2. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart, and drive on. 

3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to fail, and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too. 

4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought "Car98" or "CarNT." But then you would have to buy more seats. 

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads. 

6. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower. 

7. The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car fault" warning light. 

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt. 

9. The airbag system would say "are you sure?" before going off.

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This newsletter is copyrighted 2000 by The WebSkulker.  You may use any material in this issue for any reason provided that you attribute it to the WebSkulker Newsletter and include the URL to our web site: http://www.webskulker.com .