To use the links in this newsletter, you must be connected to the Internet.  PC Eudora users: to see this and other html mail properly you must check the box "Use Microsoft's Viewer" in the "Viewing Mail" options.

http://www.buzme.com

Jr. skulkers can get a free voice mail system just like the Message Center service from your phone company, as well as a totally free Internet call-waiting service.  In our 10/20/99 issue, WebSkulker talked about services that combine phone and Internet features to provide an Internet call-waiting sort of service.  If you have only one phone line and it is busy because you are dialed into the Internet, these services notify you with a pop-up window on your computer when someone calls your phone number, and give you some way to exchange information with these people.  All of these services charge some money per month, or make you pay your phone company for services that make this possible.

Buzme.com provides this same service totally for free, including the phone company charges!  They will contact your local phone company for you to have the Busy and No-Answer Call Forwarding services added to your line, and they will pay all of the installation and monthly charges!  Why?  In WebSkulker's opinion, startup companies often have a bunch of sucker investors who have no idea what they are buying into and believe that if a company loses money per customer, but gets enough customers, they will make a profit.  That attitude is ridiculous, but who cares?  If Internet companies want to give you services for free, then jr. skulkers should take advantage of them while they last.

Even if you have multiple phone lines, you should still subscribe to this service because they give you free voice mail, and you can play with the Internet call-waiting stuff even if the call-wait is because your phone is busy with someone talking on it.

http://www.sysinternals.com/filemon.htm

http://www.sysinternals.com/portmon.htm

http://www.sysinternals.com/regmon.htm

WebSkulker recommends these three utilities for jr. skulkers who want to learn about the internals of Windows and to spy on application programs to see how they work:

"Filemon is a GUI/device driver combination that monitors and displays all file system activity on a system. It has advanced filtering and search capabilities that make it a powerful tool for exploring the way Windows works, seeing how applications use the files and DLLs, or tracking down problems in system or application configurations."

"Portmon is a GUI/device driver combination that monitors and displays all serial and parallel port activity on a system. It has advanced filtering and search capabilities that make it a powerful tool for exploring the way Windows works, seeing how applications use ports, or tracking down problems in system or application configurations."

"Regmon is a Registry spying utility that watches and displays information on system-wide registry accesses as they are occurring. This makes it a uniquely powerful tool for learning how Windows works or tracking down problems due to misconfigured Registry settings."

http://www.ed.gov/prog_info/SFA/StudentGuide/2000-1

http://www.fastweb.com

These two sites can help you college student jr. skulkers learn about and apply for financial aid and scholarships.  The first site, The Student Guide, is a "comprehensive resource on student financial aid from the U.S. Department of Education. It covers the Department's major aid programs, including Pell Grants, Stafford Loans, and PLUS Loans."

The second site is a free scholarship search service that is supposed to be as good as the pay services.  You fill in a registration form about yourself, and the search engine will tell you about scholarships that you might qualify for.

http://www.thespark.com

http://test.thespark.com/bitchtest

http://test.thespark.com/bastardtest

Jr. Skulker Marvelena Quesada recommends visiting TheSpark.com for all kinds of weird stuff, including a Bitch Test for women and a Bastard Test for men.  Check them out and let WebSkulker know how you did.

Submitted by Jr. Skulker Charlie Swindell

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner the price. 

"Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and an extra thousand for the story behind it." 

"At that price, you can keep the story, old man," he replies, "but I'll take the bronze rat." 

The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him. 

Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer, more rats come out and follow him. By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots and abandoned cars, all following him. 

Rats by the thousands are at his heels, and as he sees the waterfront at the bottom of the hill he panics and starts to run full tilt. 

No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep up, squealing hideously, now not just thousands but millions, so that by the time he comes racing to the water's edge a trail of rats twelve blocks long is behind him. 

Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a lamppost, grasping it with one arm, while he hurls the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay as far as he can throw it. 

Pulling his legs up and clinging to the post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over the breakwater into the sea, where they drown. 

Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique shop. 

"Ah sir, you've come back for the story," says the owner. 

"No," says the tourist, "I was just hoping you had a bronze sculpture of a lawyer."

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