To lie or keep in hiding, as for some evil reason.  To move or go in a mean, stealthy manner.
ISSN: 1527-814X Tuesday February 29, 2000

WebSkulker Newsletter
I'm back in the shadows again,
out where a friend skulks a friend

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Wireless skulking simulator

WebSkulker mentioned in yesterday's edition that he bought a new cell phone that has Internet access and simplified web browsing built in.  You jr. skulkers can download a simulator of such a phone that you can run on your PC.  This looks like a cell phone and when you press buttons on it (using your mouse, of course) it really works.  No, it won't make phone calls, but it will actually connect to WAP enabled web sites and show you what it would be like to own this type of phone.  Unfortunately the real phones are harder to use than the simulator because the simulator lets you use the PC keyboard for the alphabetic entries whereas a real phone uses codes on the numeric keypad.

To download the simulator, you must first register as someone interested in developing WAP applications.  Go to the first link above and click on Sign Up.  Fill out and submit the form; don't worry about whether they will accept you since you are not a real developer; just fill out some information and it will work.  After you are registered, then Login and look around at the information if you are interested in the technical details.  Let WebSkulker give you a hint:  if you learn how to develop WAP applications, you will have no problem finding a high-paying job so take this seriously.

Now go to the second link above (which will only work after you login), or wind your way through the site until you find the download page.  Download the latest version of the SDK (Software Development Kit), install it, and run the program UP.Simulator.  You must be connected to the Internet so it can reach the WAP Enabled sites.  Go through the menus to see the sample sites they list, and use the address bar above the simulated phone to go to any other WAP sites you learn about.  If you attempt to go to a regular web site, the simulator will refuse.  Interestingly WebSkulker's phone will go to regular sites, but they are practically impossible to use with the tiny screen and numeric keypad.

Go to the File menu and choose Open Configuration.  Double-click on an item and load a skin that makes the simulator look and act like a different brand of phone.  This is fun, but the original skin called "Generic" is best because it has the biggest virtual display.

Jr. skulkers outside the U.S. should read this

Hotvoice is a pretty typical free Internet/phone service that will give you a voice/fax mailbox with a toll-free number in the U.S., but you share that number with all other subscribers so people wanting to leave you a message must press in an extension number first.  But here is the great thing about Hotvoice:  they have local dialup numbers in many countries around the world besides the U.S.  Look at the second link to see if any of these phone numbers are local to you or people you know.  If so, you can use this system to leave voice messages for each other.

Hotvoice has a premium service that will eventually cost some monthly fee that lets you pick up messages on these phone numbers as well as leave messages.  The free service allows people to leave you messages using all these numbers, but the owner of the mailbox must sign on to the hotvoice web site to retrieve messages and faxes.  Thanks to Jr. Skulker Batteryman for pointing this site out to us.

Skulk yourself a free e-commerce web site

Jr. Skulker Seadog suggests as a completely free website hosting service that specializes in online stores for small businesses.  He runs one at the second link so you can see how this works.  Bigstep is not intended for personal or family web sites and you really can't use it for that because they don't let you write your own HTML code.  You must use their forms, which make it easy to create a catalog or portfolio, sell goods or services, send email newsletters, and more.  They do not force any banner ads on your site other than a tiny block at the top saying "Powered by".

Your free site won't have a shopping cart.  As their FAQ states: "To conduct ecommerce (accept credit card transactions on the Web) you'll need to apply for an online merchant account from our partner, Cardservice International. After you're approved, you'll pay one of Cardservice International's partner banks the following rates: $14.95 per month, plus $0.15 per transaction, $0.05 address verification charge per transaction, and a 2.67% discount rate for your merchant account. The partner bank will charge these fees to you directly. ( in no way profits from these fees and we've done our best to find a partner that can offer you a highly competitive rate for this service.)"

Skulking away from the scarlet grains

Jr. Skulker Alexander Militsin wrote a PC game program that is highly rated on many of the shareware archives, and he would like to share it with you.  See the first link for a description, and the second for a fast U.S. download site.

This made WebSkulker laugh

Submitted by Jr. Skulker Sidney Bernay

Lawyer Jokes

How does an attorney sleep?
First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.

How many lawyer jokes are there?
Only three. The rest are true stories.

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
You won't find a lawyer who can change a light bulb. Now, if you're looking for a lawyer to screw a light bulb . . .

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? 
Three. One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder manufacturer.

What are lawyers good for?
They make used car salesmen look good.

What do you call a lawyer gone bad?

What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
Your Honor.

What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer?

What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
(1) His partners.
(2) An anvil.

What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer?
Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
The pronunciation.

What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion?
You cry when you cut up an onion.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.

Why did God create snakes just before lawyers?
To practice.


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