To lie or keep in hiding, as for some evil reason.  To move or go in a mean, stealthy manner.
ISSN: 1527-814X Friday February 25, 2000

WebSkulker Newsletter
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Skulking the news

Jr. Skulker Goat Boy sent us this article that explains what may have gone wrong with the NASA Mars Polar Lander mission that disappeared last December 3.

You jr. skulkers probably haven't yet seen the new gold-colored U.S. one-dollar coin that will take the place of the Susan B. Anthony.  This site, hosted by the U.S. Mint, will tell you all about it.

Your cell phone reveals your skulking

WebSkulker has always known that if three or more cell sites can pick up the signal from your cell phone, then the cellular company can figure out approximately where you are located.  Cell sites can determine the direction your signal is coming from and the strength.  By combining this information from several sites, your location can be triangulated accurately.

Jr. Skulker Uncle Brucie sent us this site that we believe is talking about a proposed future product, not something available today.  "The user starts by defining a list of friends (the 'Friends List') that they want to be able to locate, be seen by, or communicate with. When a user wants to know the location of a friend, colleague or family member, the user initiates the request via a chosen interface, be it their mobile phone or computer, and selects a name or names. CellPoint“s Finder! application then locates the user and the friend, and calculates the distance and direction to the friend. The result is communicated back to the user as a text message, such as 'John is close to Piccadilly Circus,about 3.2 km west of you.'"

As you might suspect from the above wording, this is a European company and their product is strictly for GSM cellular systems, which are by far the most popular in most countries outside the U.S.

Has your skulkmobile been recalled?

Enter the year, make, and model of your car, truck, or motorcycle and search the Federal Government's official list of Recall Notices, Technical Service Bulletins, Defect Investigations, Consumer Complaints, etc.

Help your bored, sulking, skulking, pets

"Welcome to the online matchmaking service for pets!  Whether you are a breeder or just a pet lover, whether you have a purebred dog or an ordinary house cat, whether your pet needs a long-term relationship or just wants to date - we will help you find that special one for your lonely pet!"

Be sure to look at the ads for cats; you might find one interesting.  This site was suggested by Jr. Skulker NoReality.

This made WebSkulker laugh

Submitted by Jr. Skulker Eric Dubin

If the automakers had to run their business like computer companies:

General Motors doesn't have a help line for people who don't know how to drive.  Imagine if they did ...

HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "I got in my car and closed the door and nothing happened!"
HelpLine: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?"
Customer: "What's an ignition?"
HelpLine: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery
and turns over the engine."
Customer: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to
know all these technical terms just to use my car?"


HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "My car ran fine for a week and now it won't go anywhere!"
HelpLine: "Is the gas tank empty?"
Customer: "Huh? How do I know?"
HelpLine: "There's a little gauge on the front panel with a needle and
markings from 'E' to 'F'. Where is the needle pointing?"
Customer: "It's pointing to 'E'. What does that mean?"
HelpLine: "It means you have to visit a gasoline vendor and purchase
some more gasoline. You can install it yourself or pay the vendor
to install it for you."
Customer: "What? I paid $18,000 for this car! Now you tell me that I
have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes
with everything built in!"


HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "Your cars suck!"
HelpLine: "What's wrong?"
Customer: "It crashed, that's what wrong!"
HelpLine: "What were you doing?"
Customer: "I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the
way to the floor. It worked for a while and then it crashed and
it won't start now!
HelpLine: "It's your responsibility if you misuse the product. What do you
expect us to do about it?"
Customer: "I want you to send me one of the latest version that doesn't
crash any more!"


HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "Hi, I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it
has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering,
power brakes, and power door locks."
HelpLine: "Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?"
Customer: "How do I work it?"
HelpLine: "Do you know how to drive?"
Customer: "Do I know how to what?"
HelpLine: "Do you know how to drive?"
Customer: "I'm not a technical person. I just want to go places in my car!"


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