To lie or keep in hiding, as for some evil reason.  To move or go in a mean, stealthy manner.
ISSN: 1527-814X Monday January 31, 2000

WebSkulker Newsletter
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To use the links in this newsletter, you must be connected to the Internet.  PC Eudora users: to see this and other html mail properly you must check the box "Use Microsoft's Viewer" in the "Viewing Mail" options.

WebSkulker contest results

Thanks to all of you jr. skulkers who filled out our invitation form last week, thereby entering the drawing for five copies of Better Letter.  (See last Monday's issue if you don't know what this is about.)  WebSkulker went through the logs and wrote down the names of each qualifying entrant on identical little pieces of paper (how low tech!) and handed them to Jr. Skulkers Giovanni and Belinda who were visiting Saturday night.  One of them randomized the papers and the other picked out five.

The winners are:  Hebe Q., NoReality, Stacy S., Stanley R., and William K.  WebSkulker will send an email to each of the winners explaining how to download and register their complimentary copies of Better Letter.

For those who did not win, you can read about Better Letter and purchase a copy at: 

Skulking around old payphones

Jr. Skulker Randy Zygot submitted this site about an antique phone museum that WebSkulker believes will eventually be open to the public.  See a lot of pictures of old phones including payphones, but unfortunately if you click on a picture, all you get is a bigger picture of the thumbnail with no other information.

Never skulk and tweak at the same time

Jr. Skulker NoReality suggested this site that gathers up tweak files and utility programs relating to PC hardware and software and organizes them by category.  Their motto:  "If it ain't broke, tweak it!" 

WebSkulker regrets teaching his cat to dictate

There are times that WebSkulker wishes he could write this newsletter himself instead of being nothing more than a glorified stenographer for his cat.  If only he had never shown her a PC screen.  If only he had never admitted that he could understand her.  If only he had told her "Don't be ridiculous, you can't write a newsletter, you're just a stupid cat."  But it's too late now.

Jr. Skulker Barry Cadish is writing a book on people's regrets and is collecting stories at the above site.  Read about his project, see some sample entries by other users, see regrets of famous historical figures, and if you wish, submit a regret that you have.

This made WebSkulker laugh

Submitted by Jr. Skulker Tracy Airhead

I want my rib back...

How many men does it take to open a beer? 
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. 

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? 
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you. 

Why do women have smaller feet than men? 
So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink. 

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? 
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..." 

How do you fix a woman's watch? 
You don't. There is a clock on the oven. 

Why do men pass gas more than women? 
Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure. 

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? 
The dog of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in. 

All wives are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart. 

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. 

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: 
I don't like to interrupt her. 

What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? 

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same. 

Scientists have discovered a food to diminish a woman's sex drive by 90% -- 
Wedding Cake. 

Marriage is a 3 ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering. 

Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" 
I said, "Dust!" 

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. 

Why do men die before their wives? 
They want to.


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