To lie or keep in hiding, as for some evil reason.  To move or go in a mean, stealthy manner.

Thursday November 18, 1999

WebSkulker Newsletter
I skulked the web, and the web won

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To use the links in this newsletter, you must be connected to the Internet.  PC Eudora users: to see this and other html mail properly you must check the box "Use Microsoft's Viewer" in the "Viewing Mail" options.

WebSkulker's cat won the argument

WebSkulker already mentioned this site in the 10/21/99 issue and doesn't see any reason to mention it again.  His cat -- who writes the newsletter by dictating while WebSkulker types -- argued that we should mention it again because there have been so many Microsoft security fixes lately, we are getting close to Y2K time, and the subscription list has grown so much since 10/21 that all the newer subscribers should know about this.  Needless to say the cat won, so here goes:

Download and install the free software from the BigFix site and keep it running in the background.  It will either automatically, or after prompting, connect to its home site once a day when you are connected to the Internet and download any new "fixlets", special news messages that are customized to some extent to the hardware and software it found on your machine. Some of the fixlets are just text, others have a button to press to install an update or change a setting automatically.  Most lately relate to security issues, but there are other categories that come in such as Y2K fixes and reminders, so this is an excellent time to start using this free service.

WebSkulker has been running this for a couple of months and likes it a lot.  The fixlets are generally relevant and useful information, and are very current.  We subscribe to many email newsletters with computer and security news, and fixlets with the same information often arrive only a day or so after the news hits.  BigFix has all the latest Microsoft security bulletins with one click of a button to install the fix.  They are much more up to date than the Microsoft Windows Update site.

Skulker's tips and tricks

Jr. Skulker JennyAnn suggested this site which discusses over 1000 tricks, secrets, registry hacks, bug reports, and fixes for all versions of Windows, DOS, web browsers, AOL, and a lot of PC hardware.

Skulking in the real world

These three sites let you look up information about your neighborhood  -- in the real world, not web sites with URL's close to yours.  The first was suggested by Jr. Skulker Tristan Tom and WebSkulker vaguely recalls that Goat Boy mentioned it a long time ago.  It asks for your zip code anywhere in the U.S., then searches a huge database and compiles a detailed report for your county with sections such as "Who is polluting your community", "What are the major pollutants", "How Clean is your Air", and "Explore the Maps."  Click on one of these sections to get detailed information such as the exact names of the corporations and exact amounts of each chemical.  The maps show the locations of the companies.  Move your mouse over one and a report will pop up.

The second site, HomeGain, is intended for people interested in buying or selling a house in a particular neighborhood, but can be used by anyone.  The best part is the Home Valuation section.  Register, then type in the address of any house to get information about when it was built, size, number of bedrooms, etc., when it was last sold and the price, and an estimate of the current worth based on recent sales of comparable homes in the neighborhood.  The instructions say you can only use this once, but WebSkulker has used it many times with different addresses and it always seems to work.

The third site simply shows sales of all houses within a specified distance from an address you are specify.  This is interesting, but not necessarily useful because it doesn't give any details about the sold houses except the address, price, and date, so there is no way to compare them to yours by age, size, etc.

HomeRadar asks for your email address.  Read the check boxes below that very carefully.  Be sure to uncheck "I would like to receive e-mail from" and check "Please do not provide my email address to any other companies" every time you ask for a report.

WebSkulker gets goofy

This site was submitted by Jr. Skulker Mike Durkin.  It contains goofy stories, jokes, downloadable and web games, audio, video, and more.

Listen to the .wav file on this one:

You should be over 18 to look at this one:

WebSkulker added this to the newsletter when his cat wasn't looking.  Please don't tell her!

This made WebSkulker laugh

Submitted by Jr. Skulker Michael D.

A young couple had been going together for quite a long time, and decided that it was finally time to "consummate" their commitment to one another (they wanted to have sex).  So, all the big plans were made, a fantastic night out, wining, dining and dancing. Everything was perfect. 

They decided to do the act at her place, so they went there and got ready, you know -- shower, shave, cologne, lingerie -- the whole bit. When they finally got into bed, and were "at the point of entry", she asked him, "did you remember to bring a condom?"  Well, of course he hadn't. In fact, since both of them were virgins, he didn't even know what one looked like. 

Anyhow, she became adamant, and made him get dressed and go to the all-night drug store for a condom.  When he got to the drug store, there were a half dozen or so old ladies in the line, including his third grade teacher.  It seems that they shopped so late to avoid the crowds.  When he finally got to the counter, the pharmacist asked "May I help you, Sir?". The young man replied, in a rather hushed voice, "Yes, I'd like a prophylactic, please."  The druggist said, rather loudly, "Will you please speak up, Sir, I'm afraid that I didn't get that."  So he spoke up and said "I need a condom!"  The druggist then said, "Certainly, Sir, what size would you like?"  And he replied "I don't know -- just give me a regular one!" 

At that point, the druggist said "Certainly Sir, that will be $1.00, plus tax."  A look of absolute horror came over the young man's face, and he said " TACKS? -- I thought you just rolled them on!"


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This newsletter is copyrighted 1999 by The WebSkulker.  You may use any material in this issue for any reason provided that you attribute it to the WebSkulker Newsletter and include the URL to our web site: .