To lie or keep in hiding, as for some evil reason.  To move or go in a mean, stealthy manner.

Tuesday November 2, 1999

WebSkulker Newsletter
And God said "let there be skulking".
And God saw that the skulking was baaaaaad.

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To use the links in this newsletter, you must be connected to the Internet.  PC Eudora users: to see this and other html mail properly you must check the box "Use Microsoft's Viewer" in the "Viewing Mail" options.

Keep skulkers away from your computer

This is important information for all jr. skulkers who use a DSL line or cable modem, and interesting for everyone else.  In our 10/20/99 issue, we discussed the Shields Up site which you can get to from the above link, then click on the box that says "Shields Up!".  We are mentioning this again because the site has greatly improved since the last time.  It now does a thorough check for an open Netbios port on your PC and if it finds one, it shows an amazing amount of information about your system that an outsider really shouldn't be able to see.  It then gives detailed instructions on how to "raise your shields" to stop this type of intrusion.

When you get to the Shields Up page, press the button "Test My Shields!" and watch what it can find out.

WebSkulker's phones

WebSkulker has a fascination for talking caller ID devices.  When a phone call comes in, a synthesized voice speaks the caller's phone number, or perhaps a recording of WebSkulker's own voice says the name of the caller.  Please understand: WebSkulker is too lazy to walk all the way over to a conventional caller ID box to look at the display.  He has never mentioned these in the newsletter before because one of his favorites was too expensive for most jr. skulkers and the other was discontinued a long time ago and thought to be unavailable.  We recently learned where to buy both at excellent prices.

The Nortel Meridian 9516 CW is a telephone and digital answering machine and talking caller ID (including call-waiting ID) all in one unit that looks like a regular business phone.  These two links give the details.  If your web browser is set up to read PDF files, the second link gives a lot more information:

These phones normally sell for about $200 to $250 and usually say "Northern Telecom" on the case.  Radio Shack sells this identical phone as catalog number 43-5814 and these say "Sprint" on the case instead.  Radio Shack has now discontinued them and if you can find one in a local store, the price is only $79.95.  We strongly suggest you call around to the dealers in your area to see if you can find one and try it out.  If you don't like it, Radio Shack will take it back without any hassle.

Skulking finds cheap Microsoft Cordless Phones

WebSkulker was one of the first people to buy the Microsoft Cordless Phone because he loves Microsoft and he loves phones.  He still likes it and still uses it every day.  This looks like a fairly ordinary 900 MHz analog phone with an extra loudspeaker in the handset and several extra buttons.  But unlike ordinary cordless phones, the base unit plugs into the serial port on a PC and includes software that turns the PC into a voice mail system with multiple mailboxes and talking caller ID.  This all works very well and the voice mail part sounds a lot better than any digital answering machine or any voice-modem-based software we have heard.  The only hitch is that your PC must be left on at all times for fancier phone features and the voice mail to work.  For detailed information see the Microsoft site at:

When you get to that page, notice the horizontal bar of links near the top and click on "Features", "Cordless Phone Hardware", Cordless Phone Software", etc. to get all the details.  On the Software page, move your mouse over the screen shot to get more information.  The phone and software have extra features not mentioned: using a microphone plugged into your sound card, you can record your own message to play over the PC speakers when each person in your phone directory calls in.  If you use Outlook Express to read email and leave it running all the time, when you call in remotely to pick up voice messages, you can also have the software read your email messages to you!  If the caller ID information for the caller includes their name, the voice synthesizer will recite the name instead of the number over the PC speakers.

This phone system was originally around $150.  WebSkulker has not seen it in stores for a very long time and assumed it was discontinued and unavailable.  We know find that it is available by mail order for only around $60; you can even buy it directly from the Microsoft site for only $79.95.  For a list of mail order dealers, go to and type "0093007834259"  in the search box.

Fun stuff for jr. skulkers

Here is a picture of an amazing new miniature keyboard design being considered by Microsoft.  It contains every key a Windows user really needs:

This site is so disgusting we won't even tell you about it; just go look for yourself:

This made WebSkulker laugh

Submitted by Jr. Skulker Ms. 1133

The Pope met with his Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Benjamin Netanyahu, the leader of Israel. "Your Holiness", said one of his Cardinals, Mr. Netanyahu wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show the friendship and ecumenical spirit shared by the Jewish and Catholic faiths."

The Pope thought this was a good idea, but he had never held a golf club in his hand. "Don't we have a Cardinal to represent me?" he asked.  "None that plays very well," a Cardinal replied. "But," he added, "there is a man named Jack Nicklaus, an American golfer who is a devout Catholic. We can offer to make him a Cardinal, then ask him to play Mr. Netanyahu as your personal representative. In addition, to showing our spirit of cooperation, we'll also win the match."

Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made .  Of course, Nicklaus was honored and agreed to play. The day after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of the result. "I have some good news and some bad news, your Holiness, " said the golfer. "Tell me the good news first, Cardinal Nicklaus," said the Pope.

"Well, your Holiness, I don't like to brag, but even though I've played some pretty terrific rounds of golf in my life, this was the best I have ever played, by far. I must've been inspired from above. My drives were long and true, my irons were accurate and purposeful, and my putting was perfect. With all due respect, my play was truly miraculous.

"There's bad news?", the Pope asked.  "Yes," Nicklaus sighed. "I lost to Rabbi Tiger Woods by three strokes."

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This newsletter is copyrighted 1999 by The WebSkulker.  You may use any material in this issue for any reason provided that you attribute it to the WebSkulker Newsletter and include the URL to our web site: .