To use the links in this newsletter, you must be connected to the Internet.  PC Eudora users: to see this and other html mail properly you must check the box "Use Microsoft's Viewer" in the "Viewing Mail" options.

Some jr. skulkers don't realize that WebSkulker has always had an archive of past issues at
http://www.webskulker.com/archive  and there has always been a link on the left of our home page called "Read archived issues" that leads to that.  We added a search engine over the weekend so you don't have to go through every issue looking for something that you remember us writing about.  Just type in search words and get a list of issues that contain those words.

We mentioned it last weekend and got little response so we will mention it again:  we now have a text-only, non-html version of the newsletter available to those of you with primitive email programs that can't handle html-formatted email, or those who just don't like html mail.  WebSkulker issues are supposed to look just like our web page.  If the issues of WebSkulker that you get in your mail box have strange formatting and hard to read color combinations, then you probably need the text-only version.

We don't have an automatic program yet to switch from one version to another, so send us an email message to  mr.skulker@webskulker.com  telling us that you want the text-only version and we will switch you over before the next issue goes out.

http://skulkers.rule@032176250231/%66a%71%2eh%74m%6c

Click on the above link and it should take you to the WebSkulker FAQ web page.  This will work with Windows and the latest versions of Internet Explorer and Netscape.  We haven't tested it with AOL or any other systems/browsers so it may not work for you, but it should for the vast majority of jr. skulkers.  So the question is why?  Why does this weird URL take you to our FAQ page?  Warning to those of you who think they know how to decode the 12 digit number in the middle:  try actually decoding it before you answer the contest because you may be in for a surprise. 

If you think you know all of the answers (there are three), send email to mr.skulker@webskulker.com and if you are the first, we will mention you in the next newsletter.  We will give the answer to this contest on Friday in the form of a link to a great web page that explains all the myriad ways to obscure a URL.

http://www.service911.com

http://www.myhelpdesk.com

http://www.phonelosers.org/techsupport

If the above tech support sites don't help and you need to call the support phone number  for a product, you had better hope that you are getting through to the number you wanted.  The people at phonelosers.org once managed to hijack the tech support number for a company and started answering the line themselves in various prank styles.  The above link lets you listen to the results.

Their page links to a site with real, but often quite funny, tech support calls and voice mail messages:
http://www.helpdeskfunnies.com/wavs.htm

Submitted by Jr. Skulker Ms. 1133

Quotes 

Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
- Robin Williams 

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.
- Roseanne 

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
- Billy Crystal 

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!"
- Dave Barry 

According to a new survey, women feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful
- Jay Leno 

I am not the boss of my house. I don't know how I lost it. I don't know when I lost it. I don't think I ever had it. But I've seen the boss's job and I don't want it.
- Bill Cosby 

In the last couple of weeks I've seen the ads for the Wonder Bra.  Is that really a problem in this country? Men not paying enough attention to women's breasts?
- Jay Leno 

We have women in the military but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, "You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms."
- Elayne Boosler 

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?
- Jay Leno 

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked."
- Jerry Seinfield 

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
- George Carlin 

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
- Lewis Grizzard 

The problem with the designated driver program is that it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.
- Jeff Foxworthy 

The problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to run one at a time.
- Robin Williams 

WebSkulker is a daily newsletter in html format. To subscribe or unsubscribe, go to our web site at http://www.webskulker.com  or send email to listserv@webskulker.com with precisely the following: "subscribe-webskulker" or "unsubscribe-webskulker" as the only words in the SUBJECT.  Leave off the quotes and be sure to include the hyphen.  Before you even think about unsubscribing, we strongly suggest you go to our web site, click on "unsubscribe", and read the story of the two farmers.  You will be shocked at the consequences!

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This newsletter is copyrighted 1999 by The WebSkulker.  You may use any material in this issue for any reason provided that you attribute it to the WebSkulker Newsletter and include the URL to our web site: http://www.webskulker.com .