To lie or keep in hiding, as for some evil reason.  To move or go in a mean, stealthy manner.

Thursday October 14, 1999

WebSkulker Newsletter
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the skulker of the web

Free subscription to WebSkulker

Invite friend to subscribe

Read archived issues

WebSkulker's Rules

WebSkulker's forums

WebSkulker FAQ

Visit home page

Submit joke
Submit web site
Submit shareware
Submit other

Email WebSkulker

Email his cat

WebSkulker ICQ #22196753

To use the links in this newsletter, you must be connected to the Internet.  PC Eudora users: to see this and other html mail properly you must check the box "Use Microsoft's Viewer" in the "Viewing Mail" options.

The first skulker of the phone lines

This site is home for the online version of the Alexander Graham Bell Family Papers at the Library of Congress.  "This digitized selection, made up of about 4,700 items (equaling about 38,000 images), consists of correspondence, journals, scientific notebooks, and other documents that best represent Alexander Graham Bell's personal life and work with the telephone, the deaf, aeronautics, marine engineering, and other areas of scientific research."

A good starting point is the timeline of Bell's life and inventions.  This is divided into five ranges of years, so be sure to click on each of the ranges at the top and bottom.  Many of the timeline items have hot links to scanned images of actual documents from that era, including many in Bell's handwriting:

This page has several diagrams drawn by Bell of his Telephone and the Multiple Telegraph:

Sell your surplus skulking gear for free

It's like eBay -- strangely enough it's even owned by eBay -- but totally free for buyers and sellers.  WebSkulker knows that if you want to buy something, use eBay because it has probably hundreds of times more items for sale than any other online auction.  But for the seller, the situation might be different.  Jr. Skulker Frank Telles collects Star Wars and other action figures and often sells them through online auctions.  He claims that the smaller auction sites can bring higher prices because your item isn't quite so lost in the sea of what everyone else is selling.  Up4Sale might be an excellent choice for the seller because it is smaller and has no commissions.

Even skulkers need to eat

These sites have complete menus for many restaurants around the U.S.  Jr. Skulker Uncle Brucie suggested the first and WebSkulker dug the others out of his bookmarks.  The second one, MenusOnline seems to have the most comprehensive list of restaurants by far, at least for San Francisco where WebSkulker lives.  The KerryMenu site has a long list of restaurants for each city; the other two have search engines by location, cuisine, price, etc.

Synchronize your skulking

When you need to coordinate your skulking with other jr. skulkers, what could be better than a South Park's Cartman talking watch:


And for telling time at home, how about these custom-made humorous clocks:  first, click here to see what the clocks look like:

Then choose the clock face from a list of hundreds.

Here are WebSkulker's favorites:

For programmers only:

This is what WebSkulker's cat does when not writing the newsletter:

What happens if your clock is infected with a virus:

It gets boring to write out all those numbers:

What telephone company employees do at work:

For relaxing after a week of heavy skulking:

This made WebSkulker laugh

Submitted by Jr. Skulker Vince Morton

Next time you need just the right phrase to describe someone:

A few clowns short of a circus.

A few fries short of a happy meal.

The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.

All foam, no beer.

The butter has slipped off his pancake.

The cheese slid off his cracker.

Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.

Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.

Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

As smart as bait.

Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.

Her sewing machine's out of thread.

One fruit loop shy of a full bowl.

Her antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.

His belt doesn't go through all the loops.

Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

Receiver is off the hook.

Not wired to code.

Skylight leaks a little.

Her slinky's kinked.

Too much yardage between the goal posts.

Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold them together.

A photographic memory, but the lens cover is on.

During evolution his ancestors were in the control group.

Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

Is so dense, light bends around her.

If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.

Standing close to her, you can hear the ocean.

WebSkulker is a daily newsletter in html format. To subscribe or unsubscribe, go to our web site at  or send email to with precisely the following: "subscribe-webskulker" or "unsubscribe-webskulker" as the only words in the SUBJECT.  Leave off the quotes and be sure to include the hyphen.  Before you even think about unsubscribing, we strongly suggest you go to our web site, click on "unsubscribe", and read the story of the two farmers.  You will be shocked at the consequences!

To change your subscription to a new email address, unsubscribe from the old address and then subscribe to the new address.

This newsletter is copyrighted 1999 by The WebSkulker.  You may use any material in this issue for any reason provided that you attribute it to the WebSkulker Newsletter and include the URL to our web site: .