To lie or keep in hiding, as for some evil reason.  To move or go in a mean, stealthy manner.

Monday October 4, 1999

WebSkulker Newsletter
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Skulking through past issues

Please visit our new user-to-user and feedback forums which are run on our private newsgroup server:

In the 9/28/99 issue and in some advertising for new subscribers, we promised to tell you about a web site that will honestly and with no obligation give you a $50 pre-paid calling card for free.  They are hoping that you will like their long distance service and will continue to use it after the $50 is used up.  We will discuss this site in detail tomorrow, but will give a preview today in the forum area as an incentive for people to check out the forums.  We realize that many of you jr. skulkers won't know how to do this, but you need to learn!  Just click on this link and hopefully a "news reading" program will pop up, then learn how to use it via its Help menus:
The whole point of the forums is feedback, so don't just read the messages you find there; participate and leave messages of your own!,4586,2343332,00.html

In the premiere issue of WebSkulker, we panned the new Apple iBook portable computer and strongly recommended buying a PC notebook instead.  Apparently the French army agrees with us because they are threatening to fine any iBook owner in France up to $30,000 and 6 months in jail!  Click on the above link for the entire story, but basically it is because the radio frequency that Apple chose for the wireless network adapter for the iBook happens to be allocated in France to the military, so it might cause problems if used near a military base in France.  This shouldn't be a problem because there is no reason to turn on the iBook wireless adapter outside.  It only works when it is nearby the matching base station inside a house or office.

In the 9/22/99 edition of WebSkulker, we mentioned a new version of Linux called WinLinux that is much easier to install and use than other versions because it installs under Windows just like any other Windows application.   There is now a second Linux that installs under Windows and launches easily on a PC: "Armed Linux, the Linux for Windows Users".  Armed Linux is completely free if you download it.  The first link above is the home site for the product, the second link is the download page, but warning: the download file is 192MB so you had better have a cable modem or DSL line.  They also sell a CD for only $11.99, which would be much more practical for most people, and it contains additional programs and documentation.

Skulking for the best credit cards

Jr. Skulker Tristan Tom suggested this site which is written by someone like WebSkulker who always pays off his credit card balance every month.  Jr. skulkers who carry a balance on their credit card will probably care most about getting a low interest rate, but for those of us who don't pay interest anyway, which card has no annual fee and gives the best incentives as gifts for using the card?  The first link above discusses cards that give cash back for purchases, the second link discusses cards that give frequent flyer points. The third link helps you choose a card with graphs showing the incentives based on how many dollars you buy per year using each type of card.

Tristan also suggested looking into the new Blue card from American Express because it is blue, which is like an iMac, and he likes iMac's for some reason WebSkulker will never fathom.  The Blue card is pretty typical in its financial features, but has a couple of promised vaporware gimmicks for Internet users.  The Blue card has a smart chip built in, as well as a magnetic stripe.  American Express will give you a free (at first, $25 later) card reader that you plug in to a serial port on a PC (not a Mac).  When doing online shopping, you swipe the card through the reader instead of typing in your credit card number.  Big deal, but it is a nice gimmick to play with.  Blue will also have a "wallet" feature that will store your name, address, etc. and help you fill in online order forms.  This is also no big deal because several shareware programs are available that do the same thing.

Spammers can't hide from skulkers

If you hate receiving spam email messages, get over it and just delete them.  WebSkulker used to spend a few minutes on each spam message trying to figure out where it really came from and trying to get the spammer's Internet service cut.  He figured out after a while that this was a complete waste of time because he could just delete the spam email in about half a second.

But if you are one of those jr. skulkers who wants to punish every spammer, the SpamCop site will help a lot.  Spammers usually forge the headers on their messages so an unsophisticated recipient of spam will often send nasty email to the wrong address and not only waste their time, but annoy innocent parties.  Use "cut and paste" to copy the headers of an email message into a form on the SpamCop site and their server will run a program that analyzes the headers one by one, name by name, ip address by ip address, and figure out what is real and what is forged.  If it can figure out where the email came from, it will tell you the email address of the administrator of that site so you can report the spam coming from there, or if you prefer, it will generate an abuse report for you.

You don't know skulk

Jr. skulkers can now play one of the hottest video games, "You don't know Jack", for free via the new  Netshow version (that runs only on PC's, of course).  This link gives a description; press the "Download Now" button to download the free program to your PC, then install it.  The first time you run it, it will download a large number of other files, then start the game.  They promise new game questions will be available every week for an automatic download.

This made WebSkulker laugh


Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side."  That's what "they" call it: the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."  That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.

I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the
President of the United States of America in an effort to distract law enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal wrongdoing our highest elected official has been trying to cover up.  As a result, the chicken is just another pawn in the president's ongoing and elaborate scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law. For that reason, my staff intends to offer the chicken unconditional immunity provided he co-operates fully with our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken will not be permitted to reach the other side of the road until our investigation and any Congressional follow-up investigations have been completed. (We also are investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked information to the Rev. Jerry Falwell, alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an effort to discredit any useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or at least to ruffle his feathers.)

To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American. Why it crossed, I've not
been told!

To die. In the rain.

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
having their motives called into question.

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us
that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

It was a historical inevitability.

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

What chicken?

To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to
cross before you believe it?

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

I have just released eChicken 99, which will not only cross roads, but will
lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.  Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by "chicken"?
Could you define "chicken" please?

The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the
"black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou
shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

I missed one??


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