To lie or keep in hiding, as for some evil reason.  To move or go in a mean, stealthy manner.

Wednesday September 29, 1999

WebSkulker Newsletter
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New!  Chat with your fellow jr. skulkers

Jr. Skulker Uncle Brucie saw our item in yesterday's edition about the tour guide and the "summer rooms".  He recently got back from a cruise to Alaska and gave us a similar tale from one of his tour guides:  "Here in Alaska we have international bathrooms: When you go there, you're a Russian. When you're in there, European, and when you leave, you're a Finnish."  Read that out loud and think about it for a minute.

WebSkulker now has a set of private newsgroup forums that you can use to chat with Uncle Brucie and your other fellow jr. skulkers and exchange bathroom humor, chat about items in the newsletter, suggest items to us, etc.  Point your news reader at server "" and download the list of newsgroups.  If you don't know how to do that, try clicking on this link and that might get you to the forums:
If your system is configured correctly, Outlook Express, Netscape Message Center, or some other news reader should pop up.  Look at the menus, read the help files, do whatever you need to do to download the list of newsgroups names.  Then do whatever you need to do to "subscribe" to the names that look interesting and download the messages in them.  Your news reader will have a way to post messages, very much like sending email.

The forums are brand new and empty so there may not be any messages.  You can be famous by being the first to post something!


Skulking in different languages

Sometimes you've just got to skulk around in areas where they speak a different language.  Download and install this tiny shareware program called "Webtrans" and get a complete translation facility between English and French, German, Italian, Portuguese, and Spanish.  Set Webtrans to the language and direction you need, type a paragraph (or cut and paste a paragraph from a web page, document, etc.) into the Webtrans window, and hit the Translate button.  The results will appear in the second window, and if you check a box, the results will automatically go to the clipboard for pasting into another application.

How is it possible for a download to be this small -- less than 50kb -- and yet be able to translate with such a large vocabulary?  Because the translation is actually done by sending your request through an Internet service, so you must be online whenever you run the program.  Here is an assignment for you jr. skulkers:  trace this and see where and how the translation is being done.

Since WebSkulker isn't fluent in any languages other than English, he tests translation software by telling the program to convert a sentence from English into another language, then back to English to see how butchered it gets.  Here are the results for the five round-trips using Webtrans, and they are pretty funny:

We started with this English sentence:
Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their party.

English to French and back:
Is now the hour for all the good men to come using their part.

English to German and back:
Is now the time for all good men to come to the aid of its involved one.

English to Italian and back:
Hour is the moment for all the good men to come to the subsidy of their party.

English to Portuguese and back:
It is now the moment for all the men good to come to dae (automatic device of input) of its party.

English to Spanish and back:
Now it is the time for all the good men to come to the aid of its party.

When you're too tired from skulking to take notes

We suspect that many of our jr. skulkers are college students, or surely you know students you can pass this site on to.  Most of the items at this site seem pretty generic or are just pointers to other sites.  But there is one feature that is important:  free class notes.  The site pays students to take notes in classes all over the country, and posts them for free.  When WebSkulker went to college, that was a pretty expensive service.

When you register with StudentU, it will ask which college you attend and customize the interface to help you look up your particular classes.  One hint for jr. skulkers who live in California:  when you drop down the list of colleges, you may have trouble finding the University of California campuses.  For some reason, all other schools starting with "University" are sorted by that word, but the UC campuses are in a separate section below, sorted by the letters "UC". 

All skulkers could use a free voice mail box

... even if the free box happens to be in Atlanta.  Jr. Skulker Mark Starr suggested this site which will give you your own phone number for receiving voicemail messages and faxes, completely free, but only in area code 404.  You can pick up messages by dialing into your number and entering a PIN, and/or they can be forwarded to you as email attachments.  This might be good for an anonymous way to receive messages.

This made WebSkulker laugh


1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

2. A day without sunshine is like, night.

3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

10. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

11. Remember half the people you know are below average.

12. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

13. Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.

14. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

15. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

16. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

17. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

18. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

19. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

20. I intend to live forever - so far so good.

21. Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.

22. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

23. My mind is like a steel trap - rusty and illegal in 37 states.

24. Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

25. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

26. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

27. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.

28. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

29. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

30. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

31. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

32. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

33. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

34. No one is listening until you make a mistake.

35. Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.

36. The colder the x-ray table the more of your body is required on it.

37. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.

38. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

39. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

40. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

41. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

42. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

43. Two wrongs are only the beginning.

44. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

45. The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.

46. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

47. Change is inevitable except from vending machines.

48. Get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade!

49. Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.

50. Always try to be modest and be proud of it!

51. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

52. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...

53. Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

54. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.


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This newsletter is copyrighted 1999 by The WebSkulker.  You may use any material in this issue for any reason provided that you attribute it to the WebSkulker Newsletter and include the URL to our web site: .