To lie or keep in hiding, as for some evil reason.  To move or go in a mean, stealthy manner.

Monday September 27, 1999

WebSkulker Newsletter
Those were the skulks, my friend

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Skulking around buried space ships

WebSkulker saw an old 3-D movie today at the Red Vic Movie House in the Haight-Ashbury district of San Francisco: It Came from Outer Space.  Unfortunately the 3-D technique used red/blue colored glasses instead of the vastly superior Polaroid system, but it was fun seeing telescopes and monsters hovering over the audience.  The story is typical: aliens crash land in a desert on Earth because their ship broke down.  They kidnap people and take on their form in order to go into town to buy parts for the repair, etc.  The greatest thing about this movie, and the reason all you jr. skulkers should rent it, is that the first two people kidnapped and cloned are telephone linemen!   There are scenes of an old telephone truck driving around and of one of the linemen using an old linemen's handset (often called a butt-in) to tap into wires at the top of a phone poll.

For information about It Came from Outer Space and pretty much every other movie ever released, go to the MovieFinder site and do a search.  There are many sites about movies, but this is the only one WebSkulker knows about that asks for your zip code, then performs these services: 

Tells you if your selected movie is playing in theatres right now, and if so, where.

Tells you if the movie is available on video tape or DVD with links to purchase it.

Tells you if the movie is going to be on television in your area in the near future, and if not, will let you add it to your personal reminder list.  The site will then continuously scan the TV listings in your area and send you email several days before any of the movies on your list will be shown, giving the date, time, and channel.

These thugs probably skulk off-camera

For a different kind of movie review, Jr. skulker Vince Morton contributed this site with humorous and satirical Flash-formatted animations called Mondo Mini Shows.  There are two series, Like, News with interviews of hot celebrities by Skeeter, and Thugs on Film  in which two British thugs give film reviews.  Be sure to check out this week's shows and the archives of past episodes.

Telephone installers can skulk also

When all the telephone linemen in a country get kidnapped and their clones are busy working on a space ship, who is left to install the phones?  Read this story about Saudi Arabia and think about it:  desert, strange men bursting in, hmmmmmm.....

(This is supposedly a true story that a jr. skulker found in a newsgroup posting.  It was in response to someone who was criticizing the customer service of Ameritech.)

Author: Miguel Cruz <>
Date: 1999/09/09
Forum: comp.dcom.xdsl

Reminds me of a story from when I lived in Saudi Arabia in 1997. One of my co-workers was having dinner at someone's home. Suddenly, three men in ambiguous government uniforms burst into the house. Talking only among themselves, they looked around for a while and then stomped off into the back room. The stunned hosts and guest just sat there, not knowing if they were going to be arrested, or what.

There was some noise in the back, and the wife wondered if something was happening to her children, but her husband said he thought she better stay put in the dining room. After a while, the men returned from the back, left wordlessly through the front door, and drove away.

The man went to the back room to see what had happened. When he came back to the dining room, there were tears in his eyes. His wife, fearing the worst, screamed. Trying to be calm, my co-worker put on his most reassuring voice and asked the man what he had seen.  "Our telephone!" the man gasped between tears of shock that soon emerged as joy. "We ordered it in 1985! I'd totally forgotten about it! It's finally here!"

For skulkers over 21 only


Jr. skulker Vince is prolific and we have one more item from him.  Speaking about customer service, dial this phone number and listen to the recording.  Is this for real?  Does this actually work as a marketing technique?

This made WebSkulker laugh

Contributed by jr. skulker Giovanni Navarrete:

Chinese Torture

A young man is wandering, lost, in a forest when he comes upon a small house. Knocking on the door he is greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long gray beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly", the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."  "OK," said the man, and entered the house.

Over dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful and had a fantastic body. She was obviously attracted to the young man as she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning he ignored her and went up to bed alone.  During the night he could bear it no longer and snuck into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear and, near dawn, he crept back to his room, exhausted but happy.

He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 1:  Large rock on chest.". Well, that's pretty crappy, he thought. but If that's the best the old man can do then he didn't have much to worry about.

He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so, he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2:  Rock tied to left testicle."  In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration he, jumped out of the window after the boulder.

As he plummeted towards the ground he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3:  Right testicle tied to bedpost."


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