To lie or keep in hiding, as for some evil reason.  To move or go in a mean, stealthy manner.

Monday September 20, 1999

WebSkulker Newsletter
Life, liberty, and the pursuit of skulking

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WebSkulker orders a $300 CrossPad for free

In the 9/15/99 issue we mentioned as a site to visit frequently for a list of current bargains, rebates, and other great deals that the author of TechDeals finds every day from online stores.  We had just heard about his site ourselves, and we have been following it closely ever since.  Here is one of his deals that all you jr. skulkers should really take advantage of immediately: a retail priced $300 CrossPad device totally free!  We have seen the CrossPad in stores and to be honest didn't think we would have much use for it, but for free, why not?  It'll make a great toy, and WebSkulker loves playing with new electronic gadgets.

The CrossPad, a product of the Cross Pen company, looks like a thick clipboard and holds a pad of ordinary paper.  You take it to meetings, etc., and write on the paper with an ink pen that appears normal, but has a tiny radio transmitter in it.  The circuitry in the clipboard picks up signals from the pen and records in memory an electronic image of everything you write on the paper, more than 50 sheets' worth.  When you get back to your PC (not Mac, of course), you connect the CrossPad with the included serial cable and upload the images to PC files that you can save and manipulate with the included software, IBM Ink Manager.

For details about the CrossPad, see

Here's how to get it free:  print a $150 rebate coupon that you will find at:   (requires the Acrobat Reader)

Go to an OfficeMax store and buy a CrossPad, or order it from their online store at:

Guess how much OfficeMax charges?  $149.99.   So with a $150 rebate, it's FREE!

WebSkulker gets free voicemail from Great Britain   (info)   (signup form)

WebSkulker lives in San Francisco, but you can dial 011-44-7050698773 in Great Britain and leave him a voice message, or dial 011-44-7050698774 and leave him a fax.  This is a free service which you can get yourself: just go to the dmClub site and sign up.  They will turn on your account and send you two email messages shortly afterwards with your phone numbers and instructions, one for voicemail and one for fax.  You control these numbers partly from the dmClub web site and partly by dialing into two "control numbers", one to configure the voicemail number and the other to configure the fax number.

You will see references to forwarding the voice number to another number in Great Britain.  This is for people in that country who can give out their dmClub number as a universal way for people to find them, or for voice mail.  For people outside Great Britain, just set the parameters to direct your calls to voice mail, and then you will receive the voice and fax messages as attachments to email messages their server will send to the email address you registered.

Note: The emails they send showing you your numbers will have the digits that someone in Great Britain would dial.  For calls from the United States, take off the "0" at the front and add "011-44".  Also note that these numbers are not free calls for people in Great Britain.  They will be paying the same rates as calling a cellular phone, which in Great Britain the calling party pays for, not the called party. 

WebSkulker never gets Blue Screens of Death

All you Mac users, plug your eyes and don't look for a minute: we are going to discuss the fact that Windows systems crash sometimes and you shouldn't know about that.  (Warning: if any Mac users try to tell WebSkulker that Macs never crash, he will tell some stories that will make you sorry you mentioned that topic.)  Sometimes Windows crashes in a fatal sort of way where the whole screen turns to a blue background with a single error message centered on it.  This is often called the "Blue Screen of Death."

WebSkulker knows how to eliminate the Blue Screens of Death from your system forever, just go to the pla-netx site above, read the instructions, then download and install the program in the .zip file.  Unlike other supposed system fixup utilities, this one really works.

Jr. skulker Vince Morton suggests a related shareware program that you install on a friend's machine as a prank.  It works only on NT, not 95/98, and is a screen saver that faithfully simulates a Blue Screen followed by a reboot.  It can even simulate the disk activity of an NT boot for better realism, but you wouldn't want to run that version too much because it is, after all, a screen saver and might run for hours:

Skulking from outer space

Jr. Skulker Vince also suggested this site from NASA which shows an Astronomy Picture of the Day.  The specific picture at this URL was taken on August 11, 1999, the day of the total eclipse of the sun, and posted August 30.  We think of eclipses as something to see looking up into the sky, but this picture was taken from the Russian Mir space station looking down and capturing the shadow of the moon upon the earth.  

This made WebSkulker laugh

A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his important meeting, he asked the desk clerk if there was a barber on the premises. "I'm afraid not, sir, but down the hall is a special machine that should serve your purpose."

The salesman located the appropriate machine, inserted fifty cents, and stuck his head in the opening, at which time the machine began to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his head and saw the best haircut he had ever had in his life.

Further down the hall there was another machine that said "Manicures, 25 cents." "Why not," he said. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slots, and pulled them out with an absolutely perfect manicure.

The next machine had a huge sign that read, "This Machine Provides What Men Need Most When Away From Their Wives - cost 50 cents."  Somewhat embarrassed, he looked both ways, then seeing no one, he put in his 50 cents, unzipped his pants, and stuck his penis into the machine with great anticipation.

When the machine started, the guy let out a scream and shrieked in agony. Fifteen seconds later the machine shut off, and with trembling hands he removed his penis which now had a button sewed perfectly on the tip.


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This newsletter is copyrighted 1999 by The WebSkulker.  You may use any material in this issue for any reason provided that you attribute it to the WebSkulker Newsletter and include the URL to our web site: .